Podcast Episode: Reflecting on the Past: The Journey of Growth in Truth

Podcast Episode: Reflecting on the Past: The Journey of Growth in Truth

Pip: There’s a certain genre of birthday reflection that goes: “I’m older, possibly wiser, and here’s what Scripture says about it.” cj has written one, and it’s more rigorous than that description suggests.

Mara: This episode covers one extended meditation on memory, growth, and what the New Covenant actually asks of us — looking back at the past without being chained to it.

Pip: Let’s start with what it means to sit with your shoulda-coulda-wouldas and actually do something useful with them.

Reflecting on the Past: Learning Without Being Chained

Mara: The post opens on familiar ground — the mental loop of regret, the “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of life” — but the argument is that those thoughts aren’t worthless. The question is whether they become a foundation or a trap.

Pip: The anchor here is a quote from Yahoshua, set up as a warning about nostalgia: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and then looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Mara: And the post immediately asks whether that means never look back — then answers its own question. Obviously not, or Hebrews 11, the whole hall of faith, would be unreadable. Looking back has a purpose; it’s the posture that determines whether it helps or harms.

Pip: So the post draws a practical distinction — learning from past mistakes, using moments of forgiveness received as motivation to forgive others, pondering what you’ve learned to better understand truth. That’s looking back with healthy perspective.

Mara: The accountability piece lands hard. The post names pride as the specific obstacle: “The problem many run into is that they don’t like to admit to their mistakes. Instead they blame others for their misfortunes.” Owning your choices, not just the bad luck, is where truth gets discovered.

Pip: And then it reframes the whole idea of being shaped by your past. Not “we are the sum of our mistakes” — that’s called only half truth — but “we are the sum of our choices, good, bad, indifferent.”

Mara: The resolution is grounded in the New Covenant. Paul writes to Timothy: “Study to show yourself approved, a workman, who rightly handles the word of truth.” The past informs the student; the word directs what the student does next.

Pip: So the shoulda-coulda-wouldas aren’t the enemy. Staying in them is.


Mara: The core argument holds: the past is material for growth, not a verdict.

Pip: Learn from it, grow from it — just don’t set up a residence there. More from The Way of the Rabbi next time.

Reflecting on the Past: The Journey of Growth in Truth

Reflecting on the Past: The Journey of Growth in Truth

Another year older and i would like to think that i am at least a bit wiser. Although, every year at this time i can’t help but think what my life would be like if certain things could be undone. Statements like, “i should have done this . . .”, “i could have done this . . .”, and “i would have done this . . .”, circle my mind. The shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of life. In my opinion they aren’t completely without merit, although they can become problematic.

Yahoshua said, “And no one after drinking old wine wants new, for he says, ‘The old is better.’” He was making a specific point about instructing His disciples but the idea is transferable. You have probably thought it yourself at some point, “It was better when I was a kid.” Wishing for another time in the past, hoping things will return. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but they won’t. In fact things are only going to get increasingly worse overall. At least until Yahoshua returns.

When He does return He will restore things, but to what? We have only the word but no experience in what is to come. This is why there are so many opinions. Everyone who reads it has a slightly different idea and all of them will say, “God, revealed to me in a dream . . .” Who do you trust, who do you listen to? You probably have your teacher favorites based on your doctrinal upbringing. And through that lens you will fit your understanding of Scripture. Regardless if it makes any sense or not because one simply says, “For now we know in part, seeing things through a mirror dimly.” “There are many mysteries that will be revealed in the end.” Etc.

Although, this is true it does not justify ignorance on the matters of truth. What is TRUTH? His, God’s Word, is Truth. Yahoshua said, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and then looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Did He mean never look back? Obviously not, or Hebrews 11 would be unreadable. So what can one gain from looking back at one’s life and reflecting?

Learning from past mistakes, is clearly a good idea. Looking at times you were forgiven, in order to forgive others, is a worthy endeavor. Pondering what you have learned in order to understand truth, without a doubt, is a good idea. After all, Paul tells Timothy, “Study to show yourself approved, a workman, who rightly handles the word of truth.”

Be a student of life. Be willing to learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. Learning what not to do is as important as learning what to do. Both are equally beneficial if treated correctly. Those previous experiences can be motivation for future decisions, and they should be, with healthy perspective.

God has spoken to us through His word. There is no guessing if you read it for yourself. Part of the ‘New Covenant’ is that His Spirit will guide us. John says, “And as for you, the anointing you received from Him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But just as His true and genuine anointing teaches you about all things, so remain in Him as you have been taught.”

The New Covenant is written on our hearts. It is the Instruction of God and it includes the history of His people. All of it. The good, the bad, the indifferent. All of the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. The writer of Hebrews quotes Jeremiah when he writes, “For this is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares Adonai. I will put My Torah in their minds and inscribe them on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they will be My people.”

Paul writes to the Romans, “Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the Torah, do by nature what the Torah requires, they are a Torah to themselves, even though they do not have the Torah. So they show that the work of the Torah is written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts either accusing or defending them on the day when God will judge men’s secrets through Messiah Yahoshua, as proclaimed by my gospel.”

The problem many run into is that they don’t like to admit to their mistakes. Instead they blame others for their misfortunes. Pride becomes an issue. Even if it is equal parts their own doing and that of someone else, it is a default to blame the other entirely. We need to own our own. In that we discover truth. It is said that we are the sum of our mistakes. That is half true. We are the sum of our choices, good, bad, indifferent. Therefore it should stand to reason that we should desire to make choices, from this moment forward, that reflect faith, hope, and love. Right?

Yahoshua said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Let us be willing to learn from our past mistakes. Study the word with a desire to be changed by the word. In order that we might walk in newness of life, within the ‘New Covenant’, given to those who put their faith in Messiah. The past is the past. Learn from it. Grow from it. But do not be chained by it.

You are loved,
cj

Finding Strength in Brokenness: My Path to Healing

Finding Strength in Brokenness: My Path to Healing
Daily writing prompt
What have you been working on?

me. For years and years, i had believed it, it was my responsibility to work on other people. So much so, i neglected myself. In so doing, my life is tattered with failures and brokenness. In 2020, during a strange year in history, i made a series of poor choices. These choices led to the breaking of my marriage, family, and ministry. To top things off my mom passed away from colon cancer. It was rapid and felt like a whirlwind. my life was collapsing around me and it was now out of my control. A place i did not know, for i prided myself on being in control.

The only good thing is that i still had my relationship with Jesus. In all the brokenness, He never left, He never let go. In fact, He stirred me. He awakened in me a desire to know Him more intimately. This became my driving force. i sought him eagerly. A daily routine was made in which i started and ended my day with Him. my day was also filled with prayer, better yet, conversations with Jesus. In one of those mornings, i read Philippians 2:12. This wasn’t unfamiliar to me, i had read it many times, probably preached on it hundreds of times. It says: “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”

my ongoing conversation with God was, “What now, Lord?” “So now.” As i read this tears filled my eyes. It was as if the voice of the Lord was saying, “What now you ask? So now, obey my instruction. Even if you feel I am a million miles away, obey. Stop worrying about what others are doing and start caring about what you are doing. Work out your own salvation with Me. Learn what it is to love and to honor. What does fear and trembling mean to you? For it is ME who works in you and it brings Me great pleasure to so.”

This began my journey of working on me. In so doing i sought God through it all. Leaned on Him for understanding and wisdom. Putting behind me what i thought i knew and like a new born baby, craved the Word like milk. And the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit, like a mother’s embrace. The last five years have been, me working on me, with direction from the Word. It has lead me into discovering the Way of the Rabbi. It has stirred in me a desire to call Jesus by His given name, Yahoshua. To call the Father Yahweh. To refer to Him as Elohim, and Adonai. It has brought me to the Abrahamic covenant, the order of Melchizedek, to Moses, and the Way of the Rabbi. Yahoshua, the Word made flesh.

And now, i write about Elohim, working on me. To make me what He wants me to be and what i have learned along the way. In hopes that it inspires others. You even, who are reading this right now, to do the same. To “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” i invite you to join me on my journey, i call the Way of the Rabbi. You can read my transformation through the years. i hope that my working on myself, if anything, inspires you to work on yourself.

You are loved,
cj