I am a learner. When people are teaching or I think they have knowledge that will help me, I listen. I don’t pretend to have all the answers or that I know everything. I will challenge someone and their thoughts if they are using passages out of context or making arguments for something with no new information than I already have. But I am teachable, if you are right I will prayerfully change my mind with new understanding. However, I am not one to be whisked away, blown about by every wind of doctrine or “new revelation” someone one has.

When in a teaching service I take notes. I have always taken notes. Something I learned from my jr. high camp counselor. I don’t remember much about him but I do know that I looked up to him, I admired him. So much so that when I saw him taking notes during chapel, I took notes during chapel. One thing that he told me was “write questions” if you want to learn, write down questions that stir in your mind as you listen. Then after, find the answers. This is how you grow.

This past Sabbath while I sat and listened my mind was full of questions. The first question that I wrote down was given by the Pastor. “Who are you a hero to?” I need to be totally honest here, although I was listening and relating to the message, many of my thoughts and attention were drawn to more and more questions. Some admittedly prompted by the message others prompted by the questions themselves.

This post is going to be different than the majority of my posts because I am going to ask you the questions I was prompted to write. I will include the answers that I wrote, even the partial answers, if I have them. I am still working through these thoughts, after all this was just yesterday that I wrote them down.

The message text was the Torah portion Numbers 25-29. The hero in the text is Phineas. The prompt, “Who are you a hero to?” My next note was ‘who do I want to be a hero for/to?’ This resinated with me because I have for much of my life had a hero complex. I wanted to be the hero. I tried to fix problems even if the person didn’t want me doing anything. My desire to be needed and a hero won out every time and it killed many relationships. Passion and zeal are a double-edged sword. You will either be admired or despised because of it.

David was passionate in many areas some good and some not so good, depending on human nature. In the end king David was said to have a heart after Gods own heart. That’s pretty high praise. David writes in Psalm 119:57, “Indignation has taken hold of me because of the wicked who forsake Your Torah!” The thing about David is in the end his desire was for what God desired. This puts into perspective the idea of being a hero and answers what being a hero looks like. The motivation is key, am I the motivation or is God the motivation?

What am I indignant about? Do I have a zeal and passion for Torah? Does it motivate me? Certainly, the majority of my posts since 2020 have revolved around being observant of Gods instruction rooted in the Tanakh. What stirs my passion and zeal in the Kingdom of God? Clearly, a desire for those who call themselves Christian to walk in the ancient paths. In life there are times when heroism is needed. A train is speeding down the rails and someone is stuck on the track. A hero is needed, get the person off the track! Someone is struggling in their understanding, struggling in a sin or rebellious spirit, instruct, persuade, but you cannot force someone. Let your own zeal and passion be a witness not the enforcer.

This begs the question: “What topics does one hear coming out of my mouth?” When in conversation am I joining in on the gossip? Am I adding to hurtful speech? What is my response to these things happening around me? It depends on the location, and the circumstances, as it does in most instances. In John 2 we read about Yahoshua’s visit to the Temple. “In the temple courts He found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. ¹⁵ So He made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; He scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. ¹⁶ To those who sold doves He said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning My Father’s house into a market!” ¹⁷ His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for Your house will consume Me.“

Time and place matter. Here in the above passage they are in the Temple. In the Torah, how we are to treat the Temple and use the Temple is explained in detail. They weren’t even close and Yahoshua acted on the zeal He had for His Father’s house. We read in Acts 21:20 that those coming to faith in Yahoshua, were, “all zealous for the Torah.” In a letter to Titus, Paul writes, “. . . who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every Torah-less deed, and purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.”

So what keeps me from being zealous today? What keeps me from observing Torah? Is it temptation, surely, the temptation of the flesh. As the Scriptures say, our spirit and our flesh are at odds. Do we give into the flesh? We shouldn’t. In fact we should do what we can to die to ourselves and put on the new man. For we are new creations in Messiah Yahoshua. Does that mean temptations stop, that the great seducer just stops whispering in our ear? Absolutely not, if anything he fights even harder. Therefore we must fight harder by surrendering to the will of God in Messiah Yahoshua. “If you love Me, obey My commandments.” This can be a fearful thing which brings us to another question.

What fears are keeping me down? For me right now I would say, fear of failure, fear of other’s opinions, doubt in myself, in my knowledge and ability. Even fear of and in my past failures. Are these fears stronger than my Messiah? “Fear not for I am with you.” That’s what Yahoshua says. So why am I running from my fears rather than chasing them off? “I can do all things through Messiah who strengthens me.”

Who have we been made to be? Revelation 5:9-10 says; “. . . with Your blood You purchased for God persons from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.” We are in Messiah Yahoshua a kingdom of priests to serve our God! We are to lead others in honoring the Sabbath Day, the Feast Days, the Torah!

What legacy am I leaving for my children? What I hope is to leave them an example: Don’t be a simple follower of Yahoshua, but servant leaders. Love God, Love your neighbor. Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly. This is what I hope my kids see in me. When life knocks you down, when temptation grips your heart, when the spiritual battle around you seems too over whelming: “Trust in Adonai with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

You are loved,
cj