Finding Strength in Brokenness: My Path to Healing

Finding Strength in Brokenness: My Path to Healing
Daily writing prompt
What have you been working on?

me. For years and years, i had believed it, it was my responsibility to work on other people. So much so, i neglected myself. In so doing, my life is tattered with failures and brokenness. In 2020, during a strange year in history, i made a series of poor choices. These choices led to the breaking of my marriage, family, and ministry. To top things off my mom passed away from colon cancer. It was rapid and felt like a whirlwind. my life was collapsing around me and it was now out of my control. A place i did not know, for i prided myself on being in control.

The only good thing is that i still had my relationship with Jesus. In all the brokenness, He never left, He never let go. In fact, He stirred me. He awakened in me a desire to know Him more intimately. This became my driving force. i sought him eagerly. A daily routine was made in which i started and ended my day with Him. my day was also filled with prayer, better yet, conversations with Jesus. In one of those mornings, i read Philippians 2:12. This wasn’t unfamiliar to me, i had read it many times, probably preached on it hundreds of times. It says: “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”

my ongoing conversation with God was, “What now, Lord?” “So now.” As i read this tears filled my eyes. It was as if the voice of the Lord was saying, “What now you ask? So now, obey my instruction. Even if you feel I am a million miles away, obey. Stop worrying about what others are doing and start caring about what you are doing. Work out your own salvation with Me. Learn what it is to love and to honor. What does fear and trembling mean to you? For it is ME who works in you and it brings Me great pleasure to so.”

This began my journey of working on me. In so doing i sought God through it all. Leaned on Him for understanding and wisdom. Putting behind me what i thought i knew and like a new born baby, craved the Word like milk. And the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit, like a mother’s embrace. The last five years have been, me working on me, with direction from the Word. It has lead me into discovering the Way of the Rabbi. It has stirred in me a desire to call Jesus by His given name, Yahoshua. To call the Father Yahweh. To refer to Him as Elohim, and Adonai. It has brought me to the Abrahamic covenant, the order of Melchizedek, to Moses, and the Way of the Rabbi. Yahoshua, the Word made flesh.

And now, i write about Elohim, working on me. To make me what He wants me to be and what i have learned along the way. In hopes that it inspires others. You even, who are reading this right now, to do the same. To “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” i invite you to join me on my journey, i call the Way of the Rabbi. You can read my transformation through the years. i hope that my working on myself, if anything, inspires you to work on yourself.

You are loved,
cj

Milk vs Steak

There is a fairly popular drink in the health and fitness section of grocery stores called Muscle Milk. i don’t recall if i have ever had it but there is always a chance, i just don’t remember. i do know that my youngest son drinks them on occasion before he goes to the gym or when he was playing hockey i think he would drink one before practice. Anyway, the point is that the drink is supposed to nourish your body and stimulate muscle growth and recovery. How well it works i don’t know, this is in no away an endorsement. i bring it up only to make this point, in 1 Corinthians 3:1-3 Paul writes about milk verses meat.

But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Messiah. I fed you with milk, not meat, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?

Earlier Paul writes, “Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away. But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of Elohim, which Elohim decreed before the ages for our glory.”
(1 Corinthians 2:6-7)

Growth is a good thing. We should all strive to grow in our understanding and relationship with Yahoshua Messiah. Paul was really writing out of frustration to the Corinthians because they were lacking in the growth department. We can all relate at times to the Corinthians i think, hitting a point in which we become stagnant in our relationship with Yahoshua. On the other hand i also believe we can relate with Paul in becoming frustrated with others seemingly lack of growth even if we have poured into their lives.

One thing is for sure, we are supposed to be learning and growing. There is a beginning, of course, Acts 15:19-21 says; “Therefore my judgment is that we should not trouble those of the Gentiles who turn to Elohim, but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood. For from ancient generations Moses has had in every city those who proclaim him, for he is read every Sabbath in the synagogues.” Most folks stop reading at verse twenty but it doesn’t stop there verse twenty-one indicates growth will come because Moses is read every Sabbath in the synagogues. Two things are evident here, Moses is read, meaning the Torah, or the Law and when is he read? On the Sabbath. The Gentiles were participating as a sect of Judaism known as the Sect of the Nazarene. It was understood that the Gentile believers would learn and grow. Remember ALL Scripture is profitable for teaching, rebuking, and for doctrine as Paul writes to Timothy (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

There is growth, Philippians 3:12-16 says; “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Messiah Yahoshua has made me His own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of Elohim in Messiah Yahoshua. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, Elohim will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” Growth is important. It isn’t the works that save us, no we are saved by the Grace through Faith. It is the Mercy of YHWH because of the work of Yahoshua.

Therefore, because of the work of the Yahoshua we respond to Him by growing in obedience to Him. In Luke, Yahoshua is recorded as saying, “Why do you call me ‘Adonai, Adonai,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and does them, I will show you what he is like:” (Luke 6:46-47) Growth is important.

There is a goal. 1 John 5:1-5 says; “Everyone who believes that Yahoshua is the Messiah has been born of Elohim, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of Him. By this we know that we love children of Elohim, when we love Elohim and obey His Commandments. For this is the love of Elohim, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of Elohim overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Yahoshua is the Son of Elohim?”

As James 1:22 puts it; “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” We must be active agents. Milk, is great in the beginning, maybe even muscle milk, but we must, in fact it is absolutely imperative, that we desire the meat of the Word. So that we grow, in that we seek to know Yahoshua, as we are known by Him and not just the new believer but all who call on the name of Yahoshua.

You are loved,
cj

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Christian (part three)

Christian (part three)

The topic of Christianianity is a BIG one. There is no way around it actually in our society, as it is in nearly every facet of life. Today, we will focus on the politics of being a Christian. It is pushed by both major political parties, some would say, “exploited” for political gain, touching on the surface, our need to be compassionate. It’s a double-edged sword if you will because politics are ugly and yet i do believe we have a civic duty to participate in it. But we can not separate the two. i know the constitution makes a distinction of separation between Church and State. However, that separation is intended to protect the Church from the government not the government from the Church.

If you are a politically active Christian you must do so from a perspective of the values found in the passages of Scripture in which we hold so dear. To separate your beliefs in some attempt to appease a group of people is not within the guidelines of being Christian. Nor can we separate it out from our lives in any aspect. To do so would be a denial of our values, our faith, our Christ. So far in our previous two weeks of looking at this topic, we covered Romans 12:9-10 which state:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Our next verse, 11, states:

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.”

Think of those in past times who basically risked everything in order to remain faithful to God. Namely, in this case, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, these guys put God above politics in everything they did that’s why they were hated by the others and set up. Even to the point of not denying their God for any reason even their very lives. We should be so bold! “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord!”

So, what are we to do when the climate is so split, compassion over what? When sizing up candidates does one issue rule over another? Where is grace or mercy when it comes to pass indiscretions? How about moral failings? Or the candidates stated belief versus their present actions? There is so much to consider how does one possibly vote at all? i for a very long time was registered, independent. i didn’t want the label of a political party, in fact, i still don’t but when we moved i somehow selected an affiliation and just haven’t gone to fix it. In my heart of hearts, i remain an objective independent voter. Who Votes his beliefs over politics, over issues, over a person. As a Christian, i take into consideration my own grace, mercy, love and the charge to love others, in making my decisions on casting a vote for someone or some issue.

May we take into account such things always and in everything that we do, not just politics, but also, work, friendships, relationships, even when we are alone.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” Romans 12:9-13

You are loved,

cj

Jude (Part 1)

Jude (Part 1)

Let me start here: if you have not read Jude (an introduction), stop now and go read it . . . it will make more sense that way. However, as a reminder to those who did read it let me refresh your memory. Jude is one of four brothers of Jesus and at some point led the Church in Jerusalem. He came to faith after Jesus’ resurrection. This same Jude then pens this letter and it is powerful! As a call to repentance, as a reminder of judgment, and as a warning to stay alert as we contend for the faith.

He doesn’t waste time with small talk, antidotes, or gibber, he is very matter-of-fact. In the verses, we will look at this week, we will see his heart, and his understanding as the brother of Jesus and leader of the Church. Let’s look at verse 5, “Now I desire to remind you, though you know all things once for all, that the Lord, after saving a people out of the land of Egypt, subsequently destroyed those who did not believe.” Here is an interesting point, there are a couple manuscripts out there as well as a few versions of the Bible that use “Jesus” in place of “the Lord”. Could these early manuscripts be more accurate to Jude’s point? i think so. Jude had come to an understanding of who Jesus was and was not ashamed of it.

We love grace, i love grace. We preach grace, i preach grace, and it is glorious! However, we mustn’t lose sight of Jesus. Jesus, actively a part of the Old Testament, who is the same yesterday, today and forever, saves us by His cross. He leads us free from the chains of sin, out of bondage and into freedom. As the Israelites out of Egypt and still, subsequently (lit. the second time) He destroys those who did not believe. Folks, there is judgment. There is a hell and it has been preached since the formation of the Church. Do not be led astray. We must continue to contend for the faith in a world that would pervert the grace of God, even some in the Church.

Now I desire to remind you, though you know all things once for all, that [e]the Lord, after saving a people out of the land of Egypt, [f]subsequently destroyed those who did not believe. And angels who did not keep their own domain, but abandoned their proper abode, He has kept in eternal bonds under darkness for the judgment of the great day, just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities around them, since they in the same way as these indulged in gross immorality and went after [g]strange flesh, are exhibited as an [h]example in undergoing the punishment of eternal fire. (NASB)

Now I want to remind you, although you once fully knew it, that Jesus, who saved[c] a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe. And the angels who did not stay within their own position of authority, but left their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains under gloomy darkness until the judgment of the great day— just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire,[d] serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire. (ESV)

Pray with me for insight, for understanding, for fresh revelation into God’s Word. Let the Spirit of God speak to our hearts through these words written by Jude inspired by the Spirit. May we grow in wisdom and faith, as we seek to walk humbly with Jesus, contending for the faith. Until next week . . .

you are loved,

cj

Life

Life

Life ~ Living matter and, as such, matter that shows certain attributes that include responsiveness, growth, metabolism, energy transformation, and reproduction. This definition of life was taken from Britannica.com. It describes life as having five attributes.

Responsiveness ~ Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?” Acts 2:37 . . . To be alive in Christ, to have life, one must respond. After hearing the message presented by Peter in Acts 2 many were cut to the heart and asked, what they should do, in response to the love of Christ.

Growth ~ “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.”  Ephesians 3:17-19 . . . Life requires growth. To be alive spiritually one must have growth.

Metabolism ~ The chemical processes that occur within a living organism in order to maintain life. The metabolism is the process of our bodies taking what we eat and drink and turns it into energy for the life of the body in its many processes. Jeremiah 15:16 says, “When your words showed up, I ate them— swallowed them whole. What a feast!” In Matthew 4:4 ‘Jesus replied, “It’s written, People won’t live only by bread, but by every word spoken by God.’” In order to be spiritually alive we must devour the Word of God.

Energy Transformation ~ Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” We must take the energy we receive from God and be transformed. To be truly alive, to have life in Christ we must be transformed.

Reproduction ~ If we are alive in Christ, the sign of life is that we reproduce! Jesus said, “Go and make disciples…” (Matthew 28:19) James tells us to be “But don’t just listen to God’s Word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are fooling yourself” (James 1:22)

To be spiritually healthy, to have abundant life in Christ, these five attributes must be functioning. And not just functioning but working in tandem . . . If you feel sick or stuck in your relationship with Jesus, it may be time to see a doctor, Jesus is the great physician, asking you these questions:

  1. Are you responsive to the Holy Spirit?
  2. Are you seeking to grow in your knowledge of Jesus?
  3. Are you feasting on His Word?
  4. Are you allowing that energy to be transformative of your body, mind, and soul?
  5. Are you reproducing, are you making disciples?

You are loved,

cj