Tag: Family

Distractions

Distractions

Distractions are all around us, always. They come in many forms, phones, games, apps, twitter, facebook, people, etc these distractions can be both good and bad. Either way, they must be taken care of in the moment or they will continue to distract you.  Why? Because what distracts you may be exactly what you need to be doing or paying attention to. Let me explain. i often sit to write or pray or study and find my mind wandering. That’s my cue to stop and figure out why or what is distracting me. If it is thoughts i begin writing them down, if its a game or an app i shut them off. If i am on Twitter or Facebook i check my notifications and then exit the app. i set things aside, move, turn off music, turn on music…i do what i can to remove the distraction and sometimes that means engaging it for a moment to be able to set it aside.

What happens if the distraction is a person? Just the other day i was sitting and trying to write when a student sat in the window. i was completely distracted. i desperately wanted to get some work done until it came to me, maybe, just maybe, this student was the “work” the Lord really wanted me to focus on in that moment. No one was going to die if i didn’t get my other work done in that moment, but the impact i could end up having on that “distraction” might change the world or at least a life.

Let me encourage you the next time you get frustrated because of a distraction that you stop and ask yourself, “is this a distraction or an opportunity?” If its a distraction, do what you need to set it aside if it’s an opportunity then set your work aside and make a difference.

1 Corinthians 7:35 “I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

Hebrews 12:2  “fixing our attention on Jesus, the pioneer, and perfecter of the faith, who, in view of the joy set before him, endured the cross, disregarding its shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Proverbs 4:25 “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.”

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you”

Temptation

Temptation

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

Have you ever faced temptation? i know stupid question right?! Of course, we all face temptations on a daily bases. This verse in 1 Corinthians gives us a hope that whatever the temptation is, there is a way out. That the temptations that you face are not new to the world but there are others who face the same temptations as you. Not that we all face the same temptations but that certainly there are no new ones roaming about.

So what does the passage mean when it says, “He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.”? We need to look at the whole passage to truly get the meaning here. We often stop right there and rely on that then blame God when we stumble or fall, “God, You gave me more than i could handle on my own!” Here is the rest of that verse, “When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

There is the key. Not that we won’t be given more than we can handle because that absolutely happens, but that God will give us a way out when we rely on Him. When we are tempted we need to look to Him, find the way out that He provides. It may come in forms that you aren’t expecting. When you are being tempted, the way out may come as an unexpected text message, phone call, knock on the door, etc. It may be something that comes to mind to distract you and you have a choice, take the way out or press on into the temptation.

Other ways out of temptation that God has already provided, are songs of praise and worship, His Word, prayer. Sing, Read, Pray your way through. Call a friend, text a friend, change the activity that you are doing…walk away. There are plenty of outs when it comes to temptation. It will take training, it will take support, it will take some effort to get out of a tempting spot. Its worth it, there is a way, He has provided and will continue to provide ways out when we rely on His strength and not our own.

Here is one big key to avoiding temptation in the future. When God tells you to get rid of something in your life, change a habit, change…do it. The temptation will be to hesitate but then whose strength are you relying on? Trust in God and rely on Him, look at these words of wisdom from Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

You are Loved,

cj

More than mere words…part two

More than mere words…part two

There is a point within the greaving process where one earns the right to speak life into a situation. However, even with that permission, there are a few do’s and don’ts to the process you should know about. Now before we enter the list of do’s and don’ts let me also say that there are exceptions, here are a few of them; 1, You are a trained professional and they have come to you seeking help. 2, You are a trusted close friend whom they have confided in and they have specifically asked you for your thoughts. 3, They have asked you for your thoughts. 4, They have come to you asking you for advice. 5, They sought you out and asked you for your input. 6, Are you catching the theme? Rule number 1, do not cross the greaving line if you haven’t been asked or given an opening through conversation.

Now for our do’s when speaking life into a greaving heart. First, be absolutely certain they are ready to receive whatever you are about to say if you aren’t absolutely certain, hold your tongue. If all the lights are green proceed with caution, be gentle, remain sympathetic and empathetic. Listen more than you speak. It is ok to use some Scripture, here is a good one, Deuteronomy 31:8; “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Use real life, personal stories, they do not have to be yours just besure you have permission to share or change the names and places. Be optimistic but do not make promises or guarantees, with the exception of Jesus not abandoning them. Pray with and for them, at the moment.

Here are the don’ts. This list can really be a long one but i am going to try to keep it simple. Don’t overuse Scripture, i know you are going to want too and you are going to justify it in your mind…don’t do it.  Some is good, but too much is a bad thing. Encourage them to read the Word, and pray about it but just don’t quote Scripture. If they wanted a preacher they’d go to the pastor, (you could encourage them to talk to a pastor).  Don’t say, “I will pray for you.” (As written up in the do’s, pray for them on the spot, let them hear you!) DO NOT be like these guys, Jobs friends, because in the end, God said this to them, “I am angry with you [Eliphaz] and your two friends because you have not spoken the truth about me.” Job 42:7. Do not speak in cliche’s because most of them although said to be biblical are NOT!

When i have gone through difficult times i have needed empathy first, encouragement second and advice last. Besides, advice, given without request only sounds degrading. You may not use the words but i guarantee it sounds like this, “YOU SHOULD HAVE…” Capped with, “YOU IDIOT!” There may come a time for those words but i assure you, it won’t be early on and it better be coming from my best friend. Being there for someone going through tragedy is hard but it can be a blessing as well, as you show empathy, and encouragement, you will gain wisdom, and i can promise you that!

You are Loved,

cj

 

More than mere words…part one

More than mere words…part one

“Everything is going to be ok.” Have you heard those words before, spoken to you by someone trying to comfort you? There are a lot of one-liners out there meant to encourage or comfort us…however, those are just words. Time and time again when i have been down or just need a boost, i have heard, “hang in there, things are going to get better.” Even though they are right, things eventually got better, those were not the words i needed to hear. What i needed at the time was someone to empathize with me.

Empathy is defined this way by Websters Dictionary, “the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” i needed someone to say, “you know what that does suck, and i can only imagine what you are going through. Life sure can be unfair.” Empathy is far more comforting than some of our most uplifting sayings. Matthew records Jesus’ sermon on the mount in Chapter 5, where Jesus says, “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Maybe this is where we get our over need to comfort those going through seemingly difficult times.

There are so many passages in scripture that bring comfort when one is ready to hear them…but there is a mourning period. Traditionally, looking at Scripture as our root, the mourning period lasted 7 days, with some exceptions of 30 days. For this period of mourning, there was crying, lamenting, tearing of clothes, folks did not groom themselves during the time of mourning either. Traditional readings stopped as well during this period, along with celebrations and work. True mourning was a shared experience of the grief-stricken, empathy. There is something very comforting knowing that one is not walking alone, crying alone, alone.

There is a time when mourning ends. The mourner then moves on the best they can in light of the tragedy they just came. It is at this point we offer the encouragement to continue on, move on, and press on, come into play. Certainly not before or during mourning. The most comforting thing you can do when someone is greaving is to be present, be available, cry with them, lament with them, don’t try to be the fixer, just be. When the period of mourning is over, then begin to encourage them. In Job when his friends first got on the scene they responded perfectly, “When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.” Job 2:12-13

The first part of getting through a difficult time is mourning. The best way to comfort a person in mourning is to empathize with them, more than mere words, live life with them in their shoes, their feelings, their sorrow. Earn the right to encourage them at the right time through your empathizing cries.

You are Loved,

cj

The Sheep and the Goats

The Sheep and the Goats

We are living in an increasingly partisan culture. We hear the word tribe often to clarify partisanship, which simply is, groupings. It has always been around for sure. We read about it throughout Scripture. However, it has become hyper-partisan. Everything is a group or sub-group with no limitations on how far one can take it and no one needs your permission to put you in that group. “You like chocolate ice cream so therefore you cannot possibly like vanilla too!” It has been a political paradigm for the most part when we would discuss partisanship, up-until-recently, however, the line is now blurred.

First, i will agree that there are definitely two groups, in fact, Jesus taught on these two groups, He called them the “sheep” and the “goats”. That is pretty much where the groups start and finish, however. Within those two groups are people, with various ideas, understandings, ways of life, social status, economic structure, intelligence and the list goes on…and among the goats, the list is even longer.

Now, Jesus, defined these two groups this way, sheep, equals saved, goats, equal not saved. It is worth noting here that these two groups are separated at the judgment and although there are good reasons to watch our associations it should never be a practice to segregate ourselves. “But how can they call on Him to save them unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they have never heard about Him? And how can they hear about Him unless someone tells them?” Romans 10:14.

Let’s talk sheep. Sheep don’t always get along. Paul split ways with Barnabas because they couldn’t agree on a philosophy of ministry, not a philosophy of salvation to which there was no disagreement. It’s ok. However, that is the exception, not the rule. “44 And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common;45 and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. 46 Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart” Acts 2:44-46. 

Jesus said, “Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and don’t do as I say?” Luke 6:46. He also said, “If you love Me, obey my commandments.” John 14:15. He clarified those commandments this way, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40.

For me, here is what it boils down to, Love; Unconditional love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith. (1 Timothy 1:5). We love one another, we sacrifice for one another, we do for one another and we pray for one another…including GOATS! We live the message of Christ out in our love for one another, we tell others about this love by living it out in our actions so that when we say it with our mouths it has a deeper meaning. In the end when Jesus does separate us, the sheep and the goats, we can stand confidently that we did, we lived, and we loved the best we could.

the divided states of america

the divided states of america

i am about to wade into deep waters. i love The United States of America, even in its divided state. We still live in a country that allows anyone to accomplish anything they set their mind to…allbeit some, unfortunately, need to work harder than others based on factors that shouldn’t be, yet are. For the sake of not being ambiguous, race, sex, social class etc. are some of these determining factors that increase or decrease one’s ability to achieve their dreams with some work or tons of work, relatively speaking.

Let me first express the ideal. This ideal is based on Scripture. It is not ambiguous, it is straightforward, it hides nothing, there are no muddy waters, no questions, it is simply truth from God’s Word. This message is to the Church, it is available to anyone, yet directed to the Body of Christ. Are you ready?

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are His heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.” (Galatians 3:26-29)

“Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” (Colossians 3:10-15)

Life isn’t perfect, in fact, there are injustices every day! Life is, unfair. There are mean people, they will spitefully use you, treat you poorly, call you all sorts of names, steal from you and gossip about you. This does not excuse it, it just explains it. People suck. We are not called to live like that, we, who name Jesus as our Lord, are to act the opposite. Sadly we often forget to, hence this gentle reminder. Even those that treat us as stated above are to be prayed for, forgiven, shown grace, given from our abundance…the Word is not ambiguous, leaves no doubt, gives no out.

How you respond to being offended matters! How you respond to folks you do not agree with matters! How you respond to someone who is not treating you the way you want to be treated matters! What we do as Christians matters, and because it matters we need to run everything we do through the filter of the cross. Love the unlovable, pray for those that spitefully use us and forgive everyone, quickly! Love covers a multitude of sins. Love uncompromised, all believers should love from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith.

You are Loved,

cj

Unconditionally, Love like that…

Unconditionally, Love like that…

Life at times can seem a bit unfair. The struggle of family, work, friendships, living, can and often times does become cumbersome. Balance, which one tries to keep is quickly lost in the ebbs and flows of life; finding it again is the challenge and the struggle is real.

No one is immune to the struggle, some are better at being proactive in recovering from being unbalanced but it takes a real effort. The verses and quotes from last week are for me the starting point of my journey back to balance and perspective. First, before i dive into this journey a little let me express to you that Jesus is fundamental in any recovery effort. You might be saying, of course, you are using scripture…yet for some using Scripture and leaning into Jesus, sadly, are not always the same thing.

Here are the verses again in case you forgot them or are reading this and you didn’t read last weeks devotional with the added insight following each verse…i will then summarize things at the end.

1. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 “So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of His call. May He give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do.”

***i want to highlight this incredible challenge, “…live a life worthy of His calling.” Talk about balance and perspective. This little part of this passage tells us this is the goal. But we need His Spirit in our lives to do it…Paul, writes, “…asking our God to enable you…” that’s the key, May He give you the power to… Why do we try and manage this on our own when clearly the challenge requires the Holy Spirit? Balance and Perspective, step one, Jesus and His Spirit.

2. Psalm 139:1-3 “O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when i sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when i’m far away. You see me when i travel and when i rest at home. You know everything i do.”

***When we are out of balance, we often attempt to hide this from God and those who God has placed in our lives to help us, “…live a life worthy of His calling.” Yet it is pretty clear in scripture that nothing is hidden from God, NOTHING. This Psalm is a gentle reminder that God knows everything about us. To regain balance and perspective…step one, Jesus and His Spirit, Step two, stop trying to hide what God already knows.

3. 1 Timothy 1:5 “The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.”

**** “…be filled with LOVE that comes from a “pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.” God is Love, i know that you have heard that before…it also says in Scripture, “Love the Lord your God with everything you have and to love people, all people”. No motive, just love, love because God loved you…love from a pure heart, not perfect, pure meaning unconditional, without the motive of getting something in return. Love from a clear conscience, not guiltless, clear…confess your sins one to another and love. Genuine Faith, be authentic, be real, be honest, love like that. Balance and Perspective, step one, Jesus and His Spirit, Step two, stop trying to hide what God already knows. Step Three, love, simply love.

4. Ephesians 5:25 “…husbands…love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” For you married ladies, “…wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

This applies to the marrieds that are reading this…if we do not honor our marriages do not expect your life to reflect or honor God. Our marriages are a reflection of our heart for God…granted this is a two-way street you are responsible for your side, which is to love your spouse as directed, to honor them, respect them, cherish them. If you are not married, you should reflect on this verse as you date, as you think about marriage…do not be unequally yoked with non-believers. Balance and Perspective, step one, Jesus and His Spirit, Step two, stop trying to hide what God already knows. Step Three, love, simply love. Step Four, to love and to cherish.

5. 1 John 4:8 “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

***If you do not love, you do NOT know God. Ouch. Jesus said if you hate anyone you have committed murder in your heart. Balance and Perspective, step one, Jesus and His Spirit, Step two, stop trying to hide what God already knows. Step Three, love, simply love. Step Four, to love and to cherish. Step Five, don’t just say, “i love you,” show “i love you.”

We have come full circle, We start with Jesus and we end with Jesus. We start with love and we end with love. If you truly want balance and perspective in your life you need to follow these five steps.

Balance and Perspective:
Step one, Jesus and His Spirit.
Step two, stop trying to hide what God already knows.
Step Three, love, simply love.
Step Four, to love and to cherish.
Step Five, don’t just say, “i love you,” show “i love you.”

you are LOVED,
cj

Love and Live

Love and Live

i love where i am with Jesus right now. Basking in deep waters, the gentle flow of the stream of life giving water ripples across my soul with sweet refreshing. Here are some of the verses that have been watering my soul:

1. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 “So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of His call. May He give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do.”

2. Psalm 139:1-3 “O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when i sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when i’m far away. You see me when i travel and when i rest at home. You know everything i do.”

3. 1 Timothy 1:5 “The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.”

4. Ephesians 5:25 “…husbands…love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” For you married ladies, “…wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

5. 1 John 4:8 “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

These verses along with these quotes from Thomas Merton.

1. “If I love my brothers according to the truth, my love for them will be true not only to them but to myself.”

2. “I cannot discover God in myself and myself in Him unless I have the courage to face myself exactly as I am, with all my limitations, and to accept others as they are, with all their limitations.”

3. “Without true, deep contemplative aspirations, without a total love for God and an uncompromising thirst for His truth, religion tends in the end to become an opiate.”

Try sitting and reading through these passages. Pray through them that these would become a part of you. Each of these brings a significant challenge to put us face to face with ourselves in relation to Jesus and our relationship with Him. In my next post, i will dig into all of this and my journey more but so that we all can have some investment in these verses i want you to pray through what is here.

You are LOVED,
cj

Life Altering…

Life Altering…

There are moments in everyone’s life in which we are faced with life altering decisions. Sometimes, it’s several in one day, other times it is just one here and there…regardless of the frequency, everyone has them. Most of the time these decisions have a larger effect than just our life, they will directly affect others near and far. That is why it is absolutely critical that we make these decisions with great counsel, wisdom, discernment, and Jesus.

Proverbs 11:14
Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.

Proverbs 16:2
Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good.

Proverbs 2:6
For the Lord grants wisdom! From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

You are LOVED,
cj

Love Never Fails

Love Never Fails

Have you ever been lost? When i was eight years old my family went to Knott’s Berry Farm in Southern California. They had at the time Western Stunt Shows that would just erupt in the middle of the park on the walkways. Following one of these shows, i was separated from my family. Panic quickly set in. Yet, being a pretty independent kid, after the initial shock i was able to shift into survival mode. Step one, find a Sherrif (a.k.a. Park Security). i spotted one and sure enough, he knew what to do. After all, they are trained in the art of reuniting lost children with lost parents.

There are times in one’s life where life comes at you full speed and takes you by surprise leaving you feeling lost. At first, you are scrambling to figure out what just happened, that turns into, what must i do to survive?! Survival instincts are natural and necessary but if relied on solely can cause you to begin to lose sight of the big picture. God’s picture. We are going to look at a pretty famous or popular passage of Scripture today found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 & 13. It’s known as the love chapter.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (Love Never Fails) …Three things will last forever–Faith, Hope, and Love–and the greatest of these is LOVE.”

When my family and i were finally reunited there was no casting of judgment on who’s fault it was we were separated. No record kept, no irritations, we rejoiced, the “Sherrif” rejoiced too. We celebrated our love for one another. Our love endured. i didn’t lose hope or faith that i would be brought back together with my family nor did my family. This might seem like a simple story and you might say of course love wasn’t lost in a short amount of time. Surely you would be right. There is a bigger point, however.

This is a story where everything worked properly. i sought the help of a trained professional. In my survival mode, i realized i needed help and didn’t just accept the help of anyone i went to someone trained in these sorts of situations. i let them walk me through it. Because i took proper steps, i was able to come out of this better for it. Often when we get “lost,” we think we need to solve the problem ourselves rather than rely on the help of others who are trained in our specific situation. It isn’t a sign of weakness but courage that one seeks help.

If i had not gone to the “Sherrif” who knows how long i would have been separated from my family. Had my parents not looked for a “help center” things really could have ended up differently. One of the reasons Paul is led by the Spirit to write this, i believe, is to show God’s great love for us and in turn compelling us to love like Him.

When we feel lost, after the initial shock, we need to remember, love never fails. We need to seek the help of someone trained in the area or situation we are facing in that moment. Don’t take the advice of someone who isn’t equipped, no matter how great their intentions the advice might be all wrong. Don’t lose sight of the big picture, which is exactly what the devil will want you to do. Keep focused on the big picture, what does God think of your situation? i bet the answer is…

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (Love Never Fails) …Three things will last forever–Faith, Hope, and Love–and the greatest of these is LOVE.”

you are LOVED,
cj