Mark Twain’s Insight: Pausing Amid the Majority

Mark Twain is credited with many profound quotes. There is one that I came across recently that really struck me. He said, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” It reminds me that the majority of humanity does not know God. They don’t know the Son Yahoshua (Jesus). Scripture breaks this down further by saying there is only a remnant. “Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity and passes over the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance—who does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in loving devotion?” (Micah 7:18)

Do you know of the parable of the ten virgins? There were five wise and five foolish. Have you read the words of Yahoshua where He warns us, “depart from Me I never knew you! You who practice lawlessness.” The message over and over is a remnant. In John 6:66 we read of many turning and walking away from Him. Because His teachings were too hard to accept. Only a few remained and He asked them, “are you going to leave also?” They responded, “where would we go? You have the words of eternal life.” They were the remnant.

Have you heard about the second Exodus? . . . Jeremiah 23:7-8. “So behold, the days are coming, declares YHWH, when they will no longer say, ‘As surely as YHWH lives, who brought the Israelite’s up out of the land of Egypt.’ Instead they will say, ‘As surely as YHWH lives, who brought and led the descendants of the house of Israel up out of the land of the north and all the other lands to which He had banished them.’ Then they will dwell once more in their own land.”

Before one begins to quote the overly taught phrase, “That is for the Jews.” Let me share another couple verses with you. Isaiah 56:1-8 is as clear as day. This is significant because it draws a conclusion few are prepared for which leaves them open to deception. Lets look at this passage in Isaiah.

This is what YHWH says: “Maintain justice and do what is right. For My salvation is coming soon, and My righteousness will be revealed. Blessed is the man who does this, and the son of man who holds it fast. Who keeps the Sabbath without profaning it and keeps his hand from doing any evil.” Let no foreigner who has joined himself to YHWH say, “YHWH will utterly exclude me from His people.” And let the eunuch not say, “I am but a dry tree.” For this is what YHWH says: “To the eunuchs who keep My Sabbaths, who choose what pleases Me. And hold fast to My covenant. I will give them, in My house and within My walls, a memorial. And a name better than that of sons and daughters. I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off. And the foreigners who join themselves to YHWH to minister to Him, to love the name of YHWH, and to be His servants—all who keep the Sabbath without profaning it and who hold fast to My covenant—I will bring them to My holy mountain and make them joyful in My house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and sacrifices will be accepted on My altar. For My house will be called a house of prayer for all the nations.” Thus declares Adonai Elohim, who gathers the dispersed of Israel. “I will gather to them still others besides those already gathered.”

The second passage I want to draw the readers attention to is found in Romans 11. Here are verses 18-23 for your consideration. “do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. Note then the kindness and the severity of God. Severity toward those who have fallen, but God’s kindness to you, provided you continue in His kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off. And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in. For God has the power to graft them in again.”

I hope this establishes in your mind the connectivity of God’s people and the nations. His desire is that ALL would come to the knowledge of the Truth. What is truth? His word is truth, John 17:17. You see even in a graft sometimes the graft doesn’t take and the branch then needs to be cut off. We are called to know Him by His word and His word is True. That Word is the Tanakh or as we flippantly call it today, “The Old Testament.” It isn’t either or it’s both and, for it is a continuation. Yahoshua told Pilate during His trial, “You say correctly that I am a King. For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.” His Word is Truth, Yahoshua came to testify of the WORD. It is a continuous revelation and a constant call to revival. To return to the Torah! The instruction of Elohim.

What is the sign of revival? Acts declares this as the sign of revival. “You see, brother, how many thousands there are of those who have believed. And they are all zealous for the Torah. . .” So then how is it that we are to live but obediently to the Word. And for what reason? So we can partake in the second exodus written of in the Prophets.

Jeremiah 30:1-3.
“This is the word that came to Jeremiah from YHWH. “This is what YHWH, the Elohim of Israel, says: ‘Write in a book all the words that I have spoken to you. For behold, the days are coming, declares YHWH, when I will restore from captivity My people Israel and Judah, declares YHWH. I will restore them to the land that I gave to their fathers, and they will possess it.’”

Jeremiah 31:7-10.
“For this is what YHWH says: “Sing with joy for Jacob; shout for the foremost of the nations! Make your praises heard, and say, ‘O YHWH, save Your people, the remnant of Israel!’ Behold, I will bring them from the land of the north and gather them from the farthest parts of the earth, including the blind and the lame, expectant mothers and women in labor. They will return as a great assembly! They will come with weeping, and by their supplication I will lead them; I will make them walk beside streams of waters, on a level path where they will not stumble. For I am Israel’s Father, and Ephraim is My firstborn.” Hear, O nations, the word of YHWH, and proclaim it in distant coastlands: “The One who scattered Israel will gather them and keep them as a shepherd keeps his flock.“

Zechariah 8:7-8.
“This is what YHWH of Hosts says: “I will save My people from the land of the east and from the land of the west. I will bring them back to dwell in Jerusalem, where they will be My people, and I will be their faithful and righteous Elohim.”

Hosea 3:5.
“Afterward, the people of Israel will return and seek YHWH their Elohim and David their king. They will come trembling to YHWH and to His goodness in the last days.”

Ezekiel 28:25-26.
“This is what YHWH Elohim says: ‘When I gather the house of Israel from the peoples among whom they have been scattered, I will show Myself holy among them in the sight of the nations. Then they will dwell in their own land, which I have given to My servant Jacob. And there they will dwell securely, build houses, and plant vineyards. They will dwell securely when I execute judgments against all those around them who treat them with contempt. Then they will know that I am YHWH their Elohim.’”

There is but a remnant that will see the Kingdom from the inside. Sadly, the majority of people will be looking at the Kingdom from the outside. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. They will say, didn’t we believe, didn’t we do, didn’t we? And they will only hear, “depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.” They were in darkness believing they were in the light. But the light is Torah. So if you are not living in Torah you are indeed living in darkness. And no amount of believing will suffice. For those in the light walk according to the light. The light, the truth, these are the Word and the Word is the instruction and the instruction is Torah. This is the way of the Rabbi. May you experience true revival and become zealous for the Torah.

You are loved,
cj

The Power of Endurance in Faith

Endure.
1. to hold out against; sustain without impairment or yielding; undergo.
to endure great financial pressures with equanimity.
2. to bear without resistance or with patience; tolerate.
I cannot endure your insults any longer.
3. to admit of; allow; bear.
His poetry is such that it will not endure a superficial reading.

“Those who have ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Messianic communities. To him who endures, I will give the right to eat from the Tree of Life. Which is in God’s Paradise -‘Eden.’” Revelation 2:7

“Those who have ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Messianic communities. He who endures will not be hurt at all by the second death.” Revelation 2:11

“Those who have ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Messianic communities. To him who endures I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone, on which is written a new name. A name that nobody knows except the one receiving it.” Revelation 2:17

(“Those who have ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Messianic communities.”) “. . . only hold fast to what you have until I come.To him who endures and does what I want until the goal is reached.” Revelation 2:25-26 (29)

(“Those who have ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Messianic communities.“) “He who endures will, like them, be dressed in white clothing. I will not blot his name out of the Book of Life. In fact, I will acknowledge him individually before My Father and before His angels.” Revelation 3:5 (6)

(“Those who have ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Messianic communities.”) “I will make him who endures a pillar in the Temple of My God, and he will never leave it. Also I will write on him the name of My God. As well, the name of My God’s city, the new Jerusalem. Which is coming down out of heaven from My God, and My own new name.” Revelation 3:12 (13)

(“Those who have ears, let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Messianic communities.”) “I will let him who endures sit with Me on my throne. Just as I myself endured and sat down with my Father on his throne.” Revelation 3:21 (22)

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way as to take the prize. Everyone who competes in the games trains with strict discipline. They do it for a crown that is perishable, but we do it for a crown that is imperishable.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

Endurance, is an important part of the Way of the Rabbi. He taught us by His actions. Not just His life, but even more so in His death, enduring death, beaten, pierced and hung on a tree. Paul, continues the passage above by saying, “Therefore, I do not run aimlessly.” No he ran with a purpose. He said, imitate me as I imitate Messiah Yahoshua (Jesus). We are not to live aimlessly, lawlessly, or without purpose. No we have been given instruction for our purpose and charged with an enduring mission.

“Then Yahoshua (Jesus) came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations. Baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. And teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

What is it that Yahoshua instructed? He exemplified the Torah, bringing it to fullness, revealing its purpose. The Torah is the instruction manual on how to live set apart lives from the nations. It reveals to us how to live obediently, holy, sanctified lives. Without it we are lawless making us no different than the nations. To keep the Torah is not to do away with Faith in Messiah. It is done because of our faith in Messiah. Revelation 14:12 says, “Here is a call for the endurance of the saints. Who keep the commandments of God and the faith of Yahoshua (Jesus).”

In Yahoshua’s charge to His disciples in Matthew 28 quoted above He says, “. . . all that I have commanded you.” At no point did Yahoshua instruct His disciples to do away with the Torah. No not once but to do away with man’s tradition. He challenged the religious leaders on their interpretation and their added rules. He clarified, and lived out the Torah perfectly. It is by His grace through faith that we are saved but we are called to live set apart.

Many will read this and say it is impossible to keep all the commandments of God. Yet in their next breath quote Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Messiah who strengthens me.” All but keep the commandments of God, that I cannot do. Oh you of little faith, hypocrites and weak willed fools. Paul’ s words are true and align with the instruction of Messiah perfectly.

Is it difficult in a fallen world to live set apart lives under the instruction of God? YES! A hundred times yes. But that doesn’t mean we are free to practice lawlessness (Torahlessness) and say we are under grace. By no means! We are to endure and in that endurance we will be blessed, protected, and welcomed into the Kingdom. This is the Way of the Rabbi.

You are loved,
cj

Choosing to Listen: Embracing God’s Word Daily

How serious are you, when you attend your church gathering, in hearing the Word of God? What preparation goes into it? Do you pray before asking God to reveal your heart? This is my practice. When I enter the Synagogue I pray, “Adonai, reveal my heart, You know me better than i know myself. Help me to not only hear You but to listen and obey Your instruction.” After this prayer I write out my initial thoughts. This past Sabbath as I prayed this prayer this is the thought given me through that prayer.

“i am not in a right frame of mind. i am not sure what i need to do since it is ultimately a heart issue. i am growing increasingly critical of myself, but lack the strength to change the thought patterns.”

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. A people for God’s own possession. So that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. For you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God. You had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” 1 Peter 2:9-10

From this point I begin to prepare my heart and my mind to receive what Adonai has for me. The question was asked, “What is the truth of your calling?” From that question I wrote down the first things that came to mind.
Concert Tour – if you read back in my blog several years. I shared how my family would travel and sing in churches. It was during this time that I believe I received my first calling into ministry.
Visions while Driving – It would become increasingly clear that this calling was sure. You see while friends were talking about their future plans or lack of I was having visions of my calling. It was a mixture of singing and preaching. This would later be the case as in some churches I had to both lead worship and preach.
Jr. High Camp – It was at an evening Chapel service at Jr. High Camp that my calling into ministry would be cemented. It would also face one of its greatest challenges. As the speaker presented the message, it became clear that I was to do this. “This is what I am calling you to do, this is the purpose I have set out for you. To preach My Word.” I could feel the burning inside my heart as I went to the alter that night. I spoke of my calling at our cabin time later.
Prayer Chapel – Years had past and I had forgotten the root of my calling. It was always there but I lacked a seriousness. I would find myself at a crossroads, homeless and jobless, I sought shelter one night in a prayer chapel. It was positioned on a cliff overlooking Puget Sound in Northwest Washington State. It was unlocked and I had prayed here many times before. On this night, although I was physically alone, I was not Spiritually alone. Through the guidance of the Holy Spirit I was reminded of my call. I rededicated my life to the purposes of God that night. The very next day I was blessed with both a house and a job.

Everything in life is a choice. You have to choose one way or another, moment by moment. These choices are often inconsequential. However, there are choices that can be earth shaking. Therefore, every decision made should be made thoughtfully and in some instances with the guidance of others. Perplexing it is that often we find these things out after wrong choices are made. Everything in life is a choice, even allowing yourself to be chosen.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 . . .
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body.”

How many times have I defiled the temple? How many times have I brought uncleanness, by choice, into the temple of my body? Proverbs offers wisdom in short, impactful pieces. This is perfect for a generation that cannot focus for more than 30 seconds before scrolling to the next TikTok video. “The foolishness of man ruins his way, and his heart rages against Adonai.” “Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who hurries his footsteps errs.” “Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of Adonai will stand.” “Cease listening, my son, to discipline, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.” (Each of these are found in Proverbs 19).

They are relevant to choice. We can all relate in one way or another in making hasty decisions that ended up being wrong. Some of us carry the burden of those decisions long after the dust has settled. It is an unfortunate truth however, there is still room for choice. Will you wallow in the mud or will you step boldly forward in the Grace of God?

1 John 2:3-6
“By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, “I have come to know Him.” Yet he does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. Here is truth, whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him . . . the one who says he abides in Him ought walk in the same manner as He walked.”

John 14:15
“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”

IF is the conditional term. If we choose to allow ourselves to be chosen. We then must choose to walk in the manner worthy of that calling. In what manner? What are his ways? Do our ways conflict with what He has instructed? Are following the traditions of man over the instruction of God? Tradition, does not make disobedience to His word less disobedient. There is no such thing as acceptable sin. What is sin as defined by the Apostle John in 1 John 3:4? “Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness.” Lawlessness is defined as being without Torah. Likewise, being without Torah is known as being in darkness. Therefore, being in Torah is then being in the light.

Sin, or as many like to say, to lessen the blow, missing the mark. Whether in ignorance or intentional, when found out, repentance is required. A turning away from that sin is a choice and a matter of the heart. When you break relationship, dishonoring someone, that guilt is conviction. That conviction is dealt with by repentance. That repentance is a choice, as much as sin was a choice. “IF My people, who bear My name, will humble themselves, pray, seek My face and turn from their evil ways, I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land.”

Trust in Adonai with all your heart;
do not rely on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him;
then he will level your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Here is where we are in the cycle of life. We are in a famine. The famine is severe, so severe that it has become normal. So normal in fact that most people don’t even know what they are missing and they don’t care to know. Even some who sense there is something deeper, a calling, a choice to be made, they too are starved. They don’t choose, whether out of fear of making a wrong choice or seeing it as inconsequential either way. The famine shouldn’t surprise anyone. It was foretold by the Prophet Amos.

“The time is coming,” says Adonai Elohim,
“when I will send famine over the land,
not a famine of bread or a thirst for water,
but of hearing the words of Adonai.
People will stagger from sea to sea
and from north to east, running back and forth,
seeking the word of Adonai;
but they will not find it.”
Amos 8:11-12

However, those who are in Messiah Yahoshua, we are at an advantage. We have the Word made flesh. He promises the new covenant will be written on our minds. It will also be inscribed on our hearts. So that we can be the Temple, that we can be the city on a hill. So that we can stand out separate from the world, sanctified by the Word of Truth. As Yahoshua prayed for us to be.

“I have given them your word, and the world hated them, because they do not belong to the world — just as I myself do not belong to the world. I don’t ask you to take them out of the world, but to protect them from the Evil One. They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. Set them apart for holiness by means of the truth — your word is truth. Just as you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. On their behalf I am setting myself apart for holiness, so that they too may be set apart for holiness by means of the truth.” John 17:14-19

Sometimes I have to write to remind myself of whose I am. That I am no longer my own but have been bought at a price. It is no longer I who live but Messiah who lives in me and through me. I don’t always make the right choice, I am thankful for Grace. But one thing I do, forgetting that which is behind me. I strain for what is ahead of me in Messiah Yahoshua.

“It is not that I have already obtained it or already reached the goal — no, I keep pursuing it in the hope of taking hold of that for which the Messiah Yahoshua took hold of me.Brothers, I, for my part, do not think of myself as having yet gotten hold of it; but one thing I do: forgetting what is behind me and straining forward toward what lies ahead,I keep pursuing the goal in order to win the prize offered by God’s upward calling in the Messiah Yahoshua. Therefore, as many of us as are mature, let us keep paying attention to this; and if you are differently minded about anything, God will also reveal this to you. Only let our conduct fit the level we have already reached.” Philippians 3:12-16

You see it is a constant choice, moment by moment, decision by decision, we choose. What will you choose?

This is the way of the Rabbi,
You are loved,
cj

Finding Yourself Through the Guidance of Teachers

Daily writing prompt

Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

View all responses

It’s raining and I am running late. “Not such a good start to my exciting future,” I think to my self as I slosh through the rain, unsuccessfully avoiding the puddles to the office of the voice behind the notepad. There is one thing to therapy that everyone should know going in — it takes time. When you begin to scratch the surface it feels good. Like scratching an itch. However, a therapist doesn’t just want to scratch the surface, they don’t just want you to gain momentary comfort. They are playing the long game, you see scratching leads to digging which means pain comes before healing. If you aren’t willing to ride out the process you won’t receive any of the benefits that come from therapy. Just ask my therapist, the voice behind the notepad.

“Have you had a chance to look at the book I gave you?” The voice behind the notepad asks.

“i have.” i respond suddenly shy and concerned as to what i wrote for my introduction.

“What did you think of it, what is your initial reaction?”

i hesitate in my response. i stair up at the (plant) and notice that a spider has taken up residence. It has spun itself a magnificent web between the woven ropes that are braided down into a bowl that suspends the (plant) in air. my mind wanders into another realm. ‘i wonder how long it took her to spin such an intricate web?’ ‘It’s her own garden of Edin.’ ‘Let’s hope there isn’t a serpent waiting to deceive her as well.’

Noticing my drift into realms unseen the voice behind the notepad clears her throat snapping me back to reality. i wonder how long i was gone for a brief second before i build up the courage and say:

“Reading it, writing my thoughts, thinking of my future, up until i stepped into your office, i was confident. Hopeful, even. But – but now i don’t know.”

“Have it on you?”

“Yes, do you want it or should i read it?”

“You can read it.”

Opening my notebook i can feel my heart begin to race and my hands, although not visibly shaking feel as if they are trembling. ‘Why am i so nervous?’ i think to myself before taking a deep breath and reading my introduction.

The voice behind the notepad sits quietly as i read. Surprisingly i am able to read it without too many pauses or nervous wavering. Although without a doubt you can tell I am nervous. my mouth is as dry as a dusty desert in the middle of summer. After making a few notations and thinking through her words the voice behind the notepad breaks the silence.

“This is a good start but I wonder if you have truly understood the cycle. That is your cycle. I can hear your understanding of the cycle itself and that is great but how do you see yourself in that cycle and how did it begin?”

i am taken back. Here i am as vulnerable as i have ever been. “i don’t know, i thought i was being open.” i say with hurt hesitation.

“Let’s do this, when we last met you were telling me about your High School counselor and how he and his wife teamed up with their friend the elementary school principal. You were helping students in the first grade to read. Continue from there.”

The movie starring Adam Sandler, ‘Billy Madison’, was based on me. Not really but really. In the movie Adam’s character had to go back to school and complete the grades again. In my story I was put in first grade to help those kids learn to read. I did their worksheets with them and read with them and to them. I did this until the teacher in the class saw that I had an understanding. I didn’t know it at the time but they were all in on it. They would grade me privately and when they felt I was ready to move on, Mr. Peak the Principal would call me into his office and say, “I think you are doing a great job. You have a great ability to reach kids and help them to read. I need your help in this other class now. Do you think you can help these second grade students the way you helped in the first grade?” I was flattered. No one ever told me in school that I was a good student, let alone a good teacher. I of course said yes.

This continued through all the grades. First through Fifth. By the time I was through all the classes not only was I confident in my ability to read, I was confident in my ability to teach and lead. While working at the elementary school I became friends with the custodian. We became such good friends that after I graduated from high school we continued our friendship. We hung out all the time and I essentially became one of his family. We started an intramural sports program at the school that lead to a intra-district league, of sorts. We did flag football, soccer, and basketball. It was a huge success and we both were recipients of a district award, “Teachers Honoring Excellence.” There was a district wide banquet and we were among three other recipients that year. It was a big deal. The banquet was complete with a dinner, then awards, followed by dessert and a reception. All done very well and I even dressed up!

During this time I was still living in the canyon. I was torn between two lives. I wanted to be accepted by my friends but also I wanted to be accepted by adults in my life. This in-between for a young teenager can lead to an inner struggle of acting ‘cool’ and acting a ‘fool’. I had been smoking off and on since seventh grade. I did so in away that although my parents suspected it they could not prove it and I was not about to fess up. During my sophomore year I got reckless and one day I was smoking in front of my home when my parents were gone. One of my friends, we called ‘Red’ because he had red hair and red freckles, I know we were quite original, lived next door. Well, Reds mom saw me and told my parents what she saw. That Saturday as usual I left the house early to wash dishes at The Fort. Only after work I didn’t go home I went up the canyon to the park up the road from mine. I was in the home of a friend and we were smoking like a couple of chimney’s. When my dad knocked on the door and my friend opened it the smoke billowed out of the door like a three alarm fire. My dad simply said, “Get in the car.” My mom was riding shotgun, so I took my place in the back seat. My dad followed behind and took his seat behind the wheel. He pulled out going the wrong way. Instead of turning left down the canyon toward our home he turned right to drive further up the canyon. This was not a good sign!

A silent winding drive up the mountain to a pullout overlooking the canyon. We didn’t get out of the car which was a good sign. I was not going to be tossed off the cliff this day. Instead I got a good talking to about choices and life and the future. My mom announced that she would be quitting her job and staying home. Which she did and took up sewing scary clown dolls for a company that paid her every time she mailed in a dozen. That is until she tweaked the design and made her own scary clowns and sold them at the flea market. I also sold her clowns to some of the older teachers and staff at the school. Another successful sales job. My mom quitting her job meant that my dad would take on another job. This one on the weekends. I didn’t see my dad much after that really. I mean I did and we still did stuff but regular day to day living was just me and my mom. This lasted through the winter months. Once spring came around my mom felt I was in a good place and decided to go back to school to become a cosmetologist. And she did. After passing her boards and getting her license the owner of the school where she graduated asked if she would like to be a teacher. She went back to school and got another license and was teaching cosmetology. My dad did not quit working weekends. As a teacher my mom taught Monday through Friday and a special class on Saturday. I was truly on my own.

i look at the voice behind the notepad. Disheartened, i say, “This doesn’t sound bad at all! None of it does. What is it that i have become, no, how did it happen that it has become necessary to be here.”

She pauses a minute, “Everyone is different, this is your brain attempting to rationalize your circumstances. It is also a veiled attempt at comparison. One thing you must come to grips with is that you are here and that you are here by your own life choices. Good and bad or indifferent to anyone else. This is about you.”

“i was so confident walking in here today. i was excited to take this journey. But now after hearing me talk i feel like such a failure. Not just that i failed God, but my parents, my family, and myself. i let everyone down. i took a good life, a good upbringing, a good faith, and a good work ethic and i buried them.”

Here I was when I realized this is my life cycle. I was living it even in this moment. I was confident on the outside to hide the insecurity that raged within me. Was it all from my elementary school teachers? Was that the core of the issue? Certainly there is more! Was it the lack of deep friendships? Which is a result of moving around so often as a kid? That is until my major adolescent years which were stable in one place. Although, I was a constant, there was constant change around me. Families came and went. New faces every summer. There was a core unit that lasted my seven years in the canyon but it still made it hard to attach. Who was leaving next? No one really knew.

Was it that I was so dependent on myself from an early age that I could never really let anyone else in? The questions swirled in my mind they were new and yet they were the same old tired questions; and they were constant. Like deja vu, it felt like a familiar place being experienced for the first time again. An endless loop of discovery that ends up in the same place.

“Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” This is the message taught by Paul to the Philippians. Just a portion of chapter 12 verse 12, spells out where I am right now. It is in fact were everyone should be . . . working out your salvation with fear and trembling.

Telos is a Greek word that like many words has several similar meanings. All of which reflect on the end, the end of something, its end goal, a comparison of ends. A reflection on what should be the outcome of a thing. Aristotle used Telos a lot in his philosophical musings, here are two of them: “Everything has a Telos, its final cause, which defines its nature.” And, “For humans, the Telos is living a virtuous life leading to flourishing happiness.”

The Telos of the gospel is to be like our Messiah. Paul writes, “Imitate me, as I imitate Messiah.” There isn’t any hidden secrets here, no word play, no super deep spiritual meaning waiting to be discovered. It is simply to imitate Messiah. We work out our salvation by imitating our savior. When we go off course, He corrects us, we adjust and grow and move on.

“Telos is a great word. A good place for you to stop awhile and ponder.” The voice behind the notepad says. “Next week, pick up there.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________

This has been an excerpt from a book I am writing based on true events in my life. The working title is “my life in parables”. I chose to share this part as it fits well with the writing prompt. If you made it this far thank you, also, as a reminder this is an unedited version. Still, your thoughts are encouraged.

You are loved,
cj

My Journey from Ministry to a Deeper Faith

From an early age I have been involved in ministry. As a kid singing with my family in churches even doing concert tours. Later, I would attend youth camps. When I was eighteen, the owner of the campground where we lived asked me to be the Pastor of the “Little Chapel of the Canyon.” He even helped me figure out a way to receive an ordination so that I could legally officiate weddings. This so he could advertise this as an available option to the campground experience. I led services at the chapel every Sunday for a year. At the same time I also held a Bible study in my home on Wednesday nights. I did this until I moved to Washington state for a girl that I had met in Jr. High at a summer camp. A camp I attended while visiting my grandparents after earning money selling candy door to door. We wrote letters back and forth for years. However, after my arrival the spark we shared in Jr. High never returned.

All was not lost however. As I did begin volunteering at a Youth for Christ center in the town I lived. Later, I would be asked to lead the Jr High Ministry at the church I attended. I did this for a couple years before moving back to Southern California, the place I called home. After moving back I started attending a local church and again began volunteering with the Youth ministry. After a year the youth pastor moved on. They did not have a budget to hire a new youth pastor. So, they asked me to lead as a volunteer. To which I accepted. Newly married, and bi-vocational, it was a busy time. We would have our first son during this time as well. On top of family, work and ministry, I began attending classes towards becoming a Pastor.

Mostly online through a Denominational University, however, some courses were held at the District Center. While still attending classes I would be granted a District license. Later, upon completion of my studies I was ordained. I did eventually end up finishing two degrees, Biblical Studies (Theology) and Biblical History. After my first District license I would accept my first full time Youth Pastor position. At my first assignment my family would grow adding two more son’s to the clan. After my ordination I was approached about moving into a Lead Pastor position to which I accepted. I would bounce between, Youth, Lead, and Evangelism over the next 20 years. After which I would step down from ministry within the denominational structure.

My transition from full time ministry wasn’t all by my desire. However, several life events of my own making, caused a ripple effect that forced my hand. Some of those ripples I am still feeling and will be riding out for as long as I live. However, these events have brought something good. They have brought the closeness with Adonai that I have desired. I started first with putting down all devotionals, commentaries, and inspirational books. I began to read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. Oh I had done this before, several times actually, but with guides. This time I simply prayed, “Adonai, I want to know You for who You are and not what man has made You.”

The journey that I am on has been one of change and adaptation. As I learn new principles and new ways that Elohim desires worship, I adjust to Him. No longer do I take mans definitions, and mans traditions and tell the Father, “this is how I will honor You.” No, now I learn what pleases Him and I strive to make that a part of my life, of who I am day in and day out. I taught for so long man’s definitions, mans traditions, all centered around a Greek Jesus. Now I am learning about Elohim’s instruction, His desires, all centered around a Hebrew Messiah, Yahoshua.

During this time I studied in depth the works of Augustine, and Josephus. Along with many other historians. One thing rings true in these writings. The faith of the earliest Apostles has slipped from the Way left by Yahoshua. It has taken on a Greco-Roman philosophical leaning faith. A mixture of ideas from cultures not inspired by Elohim but men.

Ezekiel 22:26 is one of the eye opening verses that started my journey of awakening to the Fathers instruction. It was the first step after deciding to take the advice of the Apostle Paul. “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but so much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” It was my first walk through of Genesis to Revelation. When the Ezekiel passage leaped off the page and smacked me in the face. “Her priests have done violence to My Torah and have profaned My holy things. They have made no distinction between the Holy and the common, neither have they taught the difference between the unclean and the clean, and they have disregarded My Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them.”

I was one of those who stood in a leadership position and did violence to His Torah. I did not make any distinction between the Holy and the common, nor did I teach the difference between the unclean and the clean. I disregarded His Sabbaths, and profaned them even, by doing my pleasure on them. This was eye opening. It isn’t that I feel a need to earn my salvation. No, I am thankful for my Messiah Yahoshua who is the Way, the Truth and the Life. It is through Him that I receive forgiveness of sin and am washed clean. Through His righteousness I am made worthy. However, it is Yahoshua who says, “If you love me, obey My commandments.” He also said, “Why do you call Me Adonai, Adonai, and not do as I command?”

Dating back to late 2019, you can begin to read the shift. There are posts before that that I am still editing as my understanding of Elohim’s instructions are more clear. However, in a nutshell here is that journey. These are my highlights.

Psalm 51:6-13
– Purge me with hyssop
– Create in me a clean heart
– Do not cast me away
– Restore me
– Uphold me

Revelation 19:7
– make yourself ready

2 Corinthians 5:17
– IF anyone is in Messiah

2 Corinthians 13:5
– Examine yourself/test yourself

Galatians 6:4
– Examine your own works

1 John 2:3-6
“And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. Whoever says ‘I know Him,’ but does not keep His commandments is a liar. The truth is not in him. Now, the promise is true, whoever keeps His word [Torah], in him truly the love of Elohim is perfected. By this we may know that we are in Him. Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.”

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
– Fear Elohim
– Keep His commandments
– Every deed will be judged (Those in Messiah have the hope of forgiveness)

John 5:46-47
– If you believed Moses, you would believe Me
– The Torah points to Messiah
– Look at the road to Emmaus where Yahoshua explains through the Tanakh who He is
– To truly know Messiah we must know the whole of Elohim’s Word

Psalm 119:105-112
“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and light to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to keep your righteous rules. I am severely afflicted; give me life, Adonai, according to Your Word! Accept my freewill offerings of praise, Adonai, and teach me Your rules. I hold my life in my hand continually, but I do not forget Your Torah. The wicked have laid a snare for me, but I do not stray from your precepts. Your testimonies are my heritage forever, for they are the joy of my heart. I inclined my heart to perform Your statutes forever, to the end.”

This is the Way of the Rabbi, won’t you join me on this journey?

You are loved,
cj

Understanding the Kingdom of Heaven in Parables

The Kingdom is like . . .
What is the Kingdom like? When Yahoshua (Jesus) taught us to pray He said, “Your Kingdom come.” But what does that Kingdom look like? Yahoshua also said the Kingdom is here, or in your midst. Is the Kingdom merely the Messiah? Do we have glimpses as to what the Kingdom will look like in the future upon Messiah’s return? Surely we do. We see Yahoshua throughout the Gospels teaching, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like . . .” He follows this statement up with various parables. We will look at one of them in a minute. However, the first thing I want to look at is the prophetic images given to the prophets. As they were inspired to write about things to come.

Zechariah describes a time to come when Yahweh sets up His Kingdom on earth. Zechariah 14:16-19 tells us that the Feast of Tabernacles will be celebrated. If the nations do not celebrate it they will suffer plagues. “And if the people of Egypt will not go up and enter in, then the rain will not fall on them. This will be the plague with which Yahweh strikes the nations who do not go up to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles.” John writes in Revelation a scene that reads like “the good ole’ days.” Revelation 21:3 “I heard a loud voice from the throne say, “Look! God’s dwelling is here with humankind. He will dwell with them, and they will be his peoples. God himself will be with them as their God.”

Yet today’s ‘Christian’ Church ignores the Feast of Tabernacles, they call it a “Jewish” thing. Something that carries so much weight certainly cannot be just a “Jewish” thing. Since the ‘Nations’ that don’t come up to celebrate will be cursed. Modern ‘Christians’ will say that they will be in Heaven. Yet the Word says that God sets up His Kingdom here on earth, as Revelation describes. The separation of Jew and Gentile is nowhere in Scripture. Even in the “Old Testament” it says over and over, “There is one Law for you and the stranger among you.” In the “New Testament” it says, we are one, and that gentiles are grafted into Israel. Yet the modern ‘Christian’ church largely dismisses it as irrelevant.

This brings us to the parable Yahoshua taught in Matthew 13.
²⁴Yahoshua [Jesus] told them another parable. “The kingdom of heaven is like someone who planted good seed in his field. ²⁵While people were sleeping, an enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat and went away. ²⁶When the stalks sprouted and bore grain, then the weeds also appeared. ²⁷“The servants of the landowner came and said to him, ‘Master, didn’t you plant good seed in your field? Then how is it that it has weeds?’ ²⁸“‘An enemy has done this,’ he answered. “The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us to go and gather them?’ ²⁹“But the landowner said, ‘No, because if you gather the weeds, you’ll pull up the wheat along with them. ³⁰Let both grow side by side until the harvest. And at harvest time I’ll say to the harvesters, “First gather the weeds and tie them together in bundles to be burned. But bring the wheat into my barn.”’”

I have mentioned this in previous posts but why were the Berean’s of more noble character? It was because they received the teachings of the Apostles with eagerness. But they searched the Scriptures to see whether or not what they were being taught was true. What Scriptures? The Scriptures referred to here is the Tanakh to include the Torah. The pages of your Bible many modern ‘Churches’ will say is obsolete or “for the Jews,” both in ignorance. What can we learn from this parable? Well, let’s first look at what Yahoshua meant to teach because He reveals the answer to His disciples.

Later in the same thirteenth chapter of Matthew Yahoshua teaches the meaning.
³⁶Yahoshua left the crowds and went into the house. His disciples came to him and said, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.” ³⁷Yahoshua replied, “The one who plants the good seed is the Son of Adam. ³⁸The field is the world. And the good seeds are the followers of the kingdom. But the weeds are the followers of the evil one. ³⁹The enemy who planted them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the present age. The harvesters are the angels. ⁴⁰Just as people gather weeds and burn them in the fire, so it will be at the end of the present age. ⁴¹The Son of Adam will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all things that cause people to fall away and all people who sin. ⁴²He will throw them into a burning furnace. People there will be weeping and grinding their teeth. ⁴³Then the righteous will shine like the sun in their Father’s kingdom. Those who have ears should hear.”

There is so much here to point out. Yahoshua is the Son of Adam. He is the sower of the good seed. Teaching rightly the ways of the Kingdom. As He states in Matthew 5:17-19. (For a teaching on the meaning of ‘complete’ check out this post here). He tells us what the markers of the good seed are “followers of the kingdom.” But the weeds follow the evil one. Who is the evil one? Or also known as the Lawless one? And what Law will he be without? Common sense should tell you the lawless one is without the laws of the Kingdom. The Torah the first five books of the Tanakh, “Old Testament”.

What does the evil one plant? The same thing he planted in the hearts of the first Adam and his wife Eve, doubt. “Did God really say?” “You won’t surely die!” How do we know that the Torah will still be relevant? Well, Yahoshua says, “Heaven and Earth will pass away first.” Also, Jeremiah and Ezekiel both prophecy that the “New Covenant, is the Old Covenant written on our hearts. You can read that in Jeremiah 31:31-33 and Ezekiel 36:26-27, also, in Hebrews 8:8-10. This “New” covenant, side note the word new here is the same for a new moon. The moon is not new every month but the cycle is renewed. This renewed covenant is written on our hearts and minds. What does Yahoshua promise His followers once He departs? Yahoshua says in John 14:16-17. “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.” What is TRUTH? His WORD IS TRUTH.

Finally, many in the modern ‘Church’ are waiting to be taken out of the world. Yet in this parable of the weeds who are taken? They are the children of the Lawless one, the devil. Those that endure and remain will enter into the Kingdom here on earth. They will rule and reign with Him for a thousand years. The weeds are taken and burned while the righteous dwell in safety. The righteous are only ‘caught up’ briefly for the marriage supper of the Lamb. We then return with Him and the New Jerusalem where He will reign as King. This is where “we will be with Him where He is.” He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but through Him. He is the Word made flesh. He is the sower of the good seed. This is the way of the Rabbi.

You are loved,
cj

Understanding Alma 32: A Response to Mormon Teachings

Part 7 of my on going conversation with two Mormon Missionaries. If there is anyone familiar with Mormon missionaries you will know two things. First, they are persistent, to their credit. Second, they serve on a rotation system that moves them from place to place over two years. This makes ongoing conversations with them difficult. I now have two knew missionaries in my area. They knew my name, it seems I have been marked, “We heard you like talking to Missionaries.” After meeting with them they suggested that I read Alma 32. So I did. This is my response to the reading. (You can read a part one, two, three, four, five, six)

There is nothing overtly in Alma 32 that attempts to discredit the Torah. A cursory reading of the chapter would find one reading what appears to be another Biblical text. Many of its thoughts are found in the writings of the Apostles. I will highlight a few for reference. At the end I will draw my conclusion. If one is to have an honest discourse with another, you must be willing to consider their point. If they are intellectually honest they will consider yours as well. Deception is deception because it is masked in truth. If one isn’t willing to challenge their own thought you may just be deceiving yourself with half truths and misunderstandings.

Alma 32:11 . . . (Also, Mosiah 18:25).
“And moreover, I would ask, do ye suppose that ye must not worship God only once in a week?”
Within this passage is a footnote leading to another passage in the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 18:25. “And there was one day in every week that was set apart that they should gather themselves together to teach the people, and to worship the Lord their God, and also, as often as it was in their power, to assemble themselves together.”

Here I want to address the Sabbath. This seems to be a contentious point within westernized churches based on church history. I have written on the counsel of Nicea before and the letter sent by Constantine to the surrounding territories following its conclusion. You can read about that here. The separation of the Gentiles “Church” from the fellowship of the Synagogue was encouraged by both sides. However, it was not ever the desire of Elohim. There is one Torah for the native born and the stranger who dwells among you. These are the words and the desire of The Most High. The Sabbath was sanctified in Creation, it was observed since then by the people of God. It is still His Sanctified day and both a sign and a seal of the followers of Elohim Most High.

Alma 32:15 . . .
“Yea, he that truly humbleth himself, and repenteth of his sins, and endureth to the end, the same shall be blessed—yea, much more blessed than they who are compelled to be humble because of their exceeding poverty.”

I found this passage particularly interesting as it calls for humility and repentance from sin. What is sin? John gives of the clearest definition of sin in 1 John 3:4. “Everyone who practices sin practices lawlessness as well. Indeed, sin is lawlessness.” Most bibles will have a footnote for this verse that says, “or, is violation of the Law.” The Law is the Torah. Sin is literally the breaking of Torah. Therefore, true repentance is turning from sin to the Torah. This isn’t me saying this, these are the Words of Elohim. ‘Oh, no one can keep the whole law!’ So does that mean we can don’t try? Does that mean we don’t seek to follow the commands that we can keep? The Sabbath, the dietary laws, these are easy to keep for the truly humble at heart. After all a humble heart seeks to honor before it seeks to be honored. In other words, walk humbly with God by seeking Him and His ways. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Alma 32:16 . . .
“Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in the word of God, and is baptized without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe.”

It is hard to fully know what is being portrayed or the idea of the message behind this thought. Yes, we must be humble, yes, Adonai will call who He calls. “As it is said: “Today if you should hear His voice, do not harden your hearts, as in the rebellion.” (Hebrews 3:15) – However, we do see that it is noble to search out Scripture for what is true. As we read of the Bereans. “Now the Bereans were more noble-minded than the Thessalonians. For they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if these teachings were true.”

Now it is understood that the Book of Mormon is a collection of writings made after Jesus appeared in the America’s. I am not too familiar with the origin story, beyond a cursory reading of history. I suppose it can be assumed that those that came to the America’s only had the oral tradition and not any writings. However, we also know that Elohim is the same yesterday, today, and forever and therefore would not contradict Himself. So if there was an appearance here it would line up with Torah. Anything that doesn’t is either a forgery or misunderstood. Perhaps in the same way many misinterpret Paul’s writings as Peter warns. “Indeed, he speaks about these things in all his letters. They contain some things that are hard to understand. Things which the uninstructed and unstable distort, to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures.” (2 Peter 3:16).

Paul was a teacher of Torah, he instructed others to study Torah. We know this because he told Timothy not to forsake what he knew. “But you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, recalling the people from whom you learned it. Recalling too how from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures. Which can give you the wisdom that leads to deliverance through trusting in Yahoshua the Messiah. All Scripture is God-breathed and is valuable for teaching the truth, convicting of sin, correcting faults and training in right living. Thus anyone who belongs to God may be fully equipped for every good work.” 1 Timothy 3:14-16

Alma 32:28 . . .
“Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.”

We can relate this to many passages in what is commonly known as the Old and New Testament. Yahoshua’s parable of the sower in which He talks about fertile ground in Matthew 13. We can read about tasting and seeing that the Word is good in Psalm 34. However, we can also read that the heart is desperately wicked. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9. This is why we are told to search the Scriptures and not to lean on our own understanding. Why? Again, Paul warns us that there is coming a time which now is that men will not adhere to sound doctrine. “For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” (2 Timothy 4:3-4)

This warning is why it is vital that we check all things to the source of all truth. “Sanctify them by Your Truth, Your Word is Truth.” John 17:17. The default Scripture must be the Torah and the Tanakh. Because it tells how to spot false prophets and false teachings. It focuses the reader on the goodness of Elohim and His salvation through Messiah. It instructs us on what to do and how to do it. It tells how to worship. It calls us to be separate. It calls us to Torah. His instruction in righteousness. With this understanding we can read Alma 32 and put it within the context of Torah. Here it can fit. This isn’t an endorsement but it is a concession.

Alma 32:40 . . .
“And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.”

This is true. We must look to Torah, the Word of Elohim. Otherwise we will have no place in His Kingdom. We must get back to the instruction that we can follow, Sabbath’s, and eating clean, just to name a couple. His Word is not burdensome. “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.” 1 John 5:3. This is the Way of the Rabbi.

This is the Way,
You are loved,
cj

The Art of Selling Peanuts: My Childhood Story

Daily writing prompt

If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?

View all responses

Funny enough I am in the process of writing my second book. The concept behind it is ‘my life in parables’. So, I will cut and paste chapter one here and ask AI to generate the title. Currently the working title is ‘untitled’. This is a mostely unedited version as well. Here are the 3 titles generated by AI. “My Life in Parables: A Journey of Growth”. “From Latchkey Kid to Life Lessons”. “The Art of Selling Peanuts: My Childhood Story”. I chose the last one for the top title as it is fitting for chapter one.

I am not going to make changes or edit it before posting as it is a work in progress anyway. Your feedback however, on its context, as the reader is still greatly encouraged. Whether you leave a comment or email or fill out the form. Dropping a like so that more people see it would be great too. So without further ado here we go!

Ah, Nuts!

Once when I was eight, an idea sprung up in my mind after leaving the grocery store with my mom. We passed a table of Girl Scouts selling cookies. The box on the table was full of money and I was instantly intrigued. “What if,” I wondered, “I could sell something, so that I could make some money?” . . . “What could I sell, and how would I sell it?” All the way home I thought about this idea. It was a tiny flame within me that kept burning brighter and brighter. I must do this thing, I must find something to sell and sell it, so I too could be as rich as the girls at the Girl Scout table. The idea captured my thoughts and I could not escape it, not that I tried. I didn’t want to escape, I wanted to dive right in!

This is the story of my life. I rush into things and make things happen. I cover the basics, seek little advice, even when I don’t fully understand what needs to be done. Today, I sit in therapy because of this unchecked passion within me. Do it, and do it on your own, it’s the only way it will happen. I am in control!

Right on cue from behind the notepad the gentle voice of my therapist asked the inevitable question, “So what do you think about that?”

“Honesty, i don’t know, i don’t know what to think or feel about anything. Everything has become over-complicated because all i do now is think.”

When my mother wasn’t working she was an activist. “Not by choice, but by necessity,” she would later say. Forced bussing was sweeping Los Angeles and my brother and I were being picked up at our old school and bused into a predominately hispanic neighborhood. To be completely honest, I liked both the bus ride and the lunches at the new school. They had tamales of which my old school did not have and burritos that I am near certain where different than the ones being served at my old mostly affluent white school. Also, I never have had difficulty making friends, I don’t like people but I can make friends easily. My brother would find me at lunch because he knew that I would have several lunches given to me and he would snag one or two. It also served me good to have a 6th grader and his friend come up to me at lunch not to bully but to beg me for food. One thing, looking back that I have come to realize. None of the affluent white kids in my predominantly white school were included in this forced bussing for integration. Only poor white kids were on the bus, I know this because I was friends with most of them and we all lived in the apartments on Ventura Blvd. Like cattle at a slaughter house we were confined, fattened, and led to the slaughter. This is why my mother became an activist. If forced bussing was going to be a thing, which she didn’t want either, it was going to be done fairly.

Picket lines and tv interviews, my mom became the face of the bussing protest. You didn’t cross my mother, needless to say, the forced bussing was stopped and my brother and I were back in our predominantly affluent white school with the bland lunches.

“Do you think this is why you feel you don’t need anyone?” The voice behind the notepad asked.

“It’s not that i don’t think i need anyone else it’s just that i feel other people just get in the way and therefore it’s better to just do things on my own. i was six or seven when this happened, so to me, it was my mom who did it all. Thinking back obviously she had help but even still today i would be willing to wager a big chunk of it was on her shoulders. If she didn’t need help why would i?” It was more a statement than a question but it didn’t matter the voice behind the notepad simply responded as she always did, with a question.

“Why do you think this is true for you?”

“i don’t know, it probably has something to do with my dad.” i responded avoiding eye contact as was my custom and another one of many points of my therapy.

My dad was a busy person too. He was trying to break into the film industry. Working tirelessly to that end. Not as an actor but in post production, editing to be specific. Although, he did aspire to be a camera man at one point as well. He did some motion picture to TV edits and on various projects if you look hard enough and fast enough you will see his name zip by on the closing credits. During the bussing protests my dad helped my mom in holding signs and early on before the real protesting began, my dad demanded to ride the bus. Eventually he won out and rode the bus once.

Both of my parents were involved in the lives of their children, however, they were busy and that meant we were on our own often. At some point in the apartment dwelling my sister came of age in the eyes of my parents (she is six years older than me) and took over the role of my supervisor. Still the coolest boss I ever had. I was a bit of a mischievous child. Always planning and scheming terrible ideas. I had some baby sitters that I can remember growing up but I think I drove them away as they changed often. That is until my sister got the position. Even if she wanted to leave she was stuck in the family.

My sister was a girl scout at some point but she had not yet joined their ranks when I hatched my plan to out sell them. I came up with a plan to sell peanuts. You know those peanuts in a can that come in assorted flavors, plain, salted, roasted, honey roasted etc. I made a list and based on the price upsold them. Created an order sheet and then marched out into the neighborhood like Mr Planter Peanut himself to sell and sell I did. When I was done my sheet was full and I had collected a ton of money, all cash. I sat on my bed counting those beautiful bills when my dad walked by. He took a second look paused, thought, and then burst into the room, “Where did you get that money?” He demanded.

I was in a pickle now. You know when you know, when you are in trouble and I was in trouble. Although, in my mind I didn’t think I did anything wrong, I had a plan and I wasn’t going to swindle these kind people out of their money. I didn’t take into account that I was selling peanuts on false pretense, as I told people I was a Boy Scout. With all the doors I knocked on I can only remember one person asking me why I wasn’t wearing my uniform. I don’t remember what I said, but I do believe they still bought peanuts. I explained my plan with desperation to my dad who didn’t seem to care about all that I had put into it. He didn’t seem impressed at all with my spreadsheet, my accounting, my record keeping, any of it. He told me to get all the money together and we were going to take the money back to these people and I was going to explain to them how I lied about being in the Boy Scouts. And so I did.

“How did that make you feel?” She asked.

“In the moment, defeated. But that didn’t last long.” i replied.

Although, my dad’s intention was to teach me a valuable lesson on honesty. Which, I did learn by the way. In this current instance I also learned people admire initiative, spunk, and a can do attitude. Nearly every house was so impressed they insisted that I keep the money. Not only that but there was no expectation of ever delivering peanuts and I can attest none were. I also can attest to the fact that I made more money being honest than I would have had I followed through on my plan which I had every intention of doing. The feeling that I got from the admiration was euphoric. My dad said, “See honesty is the best policy.” I don’t know if he was just trying to save a little face or there was a genuine glimmer of pride. In that moment I took it as pride and I liked that feeling too.

I gained resolve in that moment. I learned people respond to confidence. Although, interestingly, I battle daily to this day with self worth, and confidence. I also don’t want to show my weaknesses and so I put on the necessary masks. I try with everything inside me to not show my insecurities. No one needs to know that I lack confidence, that I don’t like being around people, and that if given the opportunity I could live easily in solitude. At the very least I could live in silence among a few people, yeah that would be ok too. At the same time selling gave me a sense of accomplishment. How does one balance that let alone explain it? It allowed me to feel as if I was in control of situations, especially if it was a successful sale. And no one knew that if I failed to sell I felt worthless, incompetent, weak and useless. If you asked if I did feel dejected, I would deny it to my grave and tell you it didn’t matter to me if people bought what I was selling or not.

“What methods did you use to deal with these feelings?” The voice behind the notepad questioned.

“i didn’t, i learned to stuff them. These are not things worth talking about, i don’t want pity, and i definitely don’t want advice.”

She looked up from making a note. “Why is advice so bad?”

my mouth dry showing my uncomfortable distain for the topic.

“Advice makes me feel incompetent. It calls into question my ability to think through or handle any situation.” i finally take a sip of water. “i have been taking care of myself since i was little. i would come home from school, alone, my sister is six years older than me my brother is four years older. my sister moved out after graduation, my brother followed her example only he joined the military. At least my sister was still somewhat available, my brother was gone.”

“You said your parents were involved in your life. They were just busy. How do you feel that fits your belief that you took care of yourself?” She had a valid question. How do i reconcile these two truths.

“Yes, both can be true at the same time. Life has parallels and overlapping experiences where multiple things can be true at the same time.” i was noticeably defensive.

“You’re right, but for you now I am interested to know how these can both be true at the same time?” She seemed genuinely interested.

My parents were active in the lives of their children. They attended baseball games, basketball games, football games, parades, concerts, open houses, and graduations. We attended Church often, usually in significant spirts, youth group, camps, fundraisers. We formed a singing group and toured the country. Summer beach trips, father and son outings, family outings. But during the week as littles, I remember coming home from second grade when we lived in Burbank to an empty house. I was alone for a little more than an hour before my sister and brother would come home from school. If they came right home from school. Once they were in High School even though the school was literally across the street from our house, it could be hours before I saw anyone.

When my sister graduated and moved out we had just moved to the canyon, I was alone from 5am to 8pm Monday through Saturday. My brother didn’t want to move schools his senior year so he still attended the school in Burbank and road with my parents. I was in Jr. High then, seventh grade to be precise. I was in charge of myself, getting up on time to catch the bus for school. When I got home I had to get my homework done, and often ate dinner alone. Occasionally, they would bring dinner home for me, on those nights I ate twice. Although there was still some family outings most of that had stopped. Church wasn’t as important although we still went only, the spirts became more like sputtering’s. I was still very much into faith however. I asked to go to camps, and there was a bible study in the canyon I would go to on my own.

“So yes, both were true. my parents were active, yet aloof. There was enough rope laying around to hang myself a few times, but always a knot on the end being held by my parents, so i wouldn’t die.” One thing i hate is talking about myself unless its in a sermon, where i control the whole narrative. Therapy isn’t that.

I often told the peanut story in a sermon. Relating it back to scripture with a personalized life lesson. It’s how I view life, by always asking the question, “How will this preach?” “What lesson is gained from this experience?” Perhaps that’s why i don’t give up easily or discouragement doesn’t last long, because in every experience the dominant question is “What can be gained through this?” For me the Peanut story incapsulates this perfectly. It also displays faith. Strong faith, courage, and a can do spirit are necessary in overcoming difficult situations. If you are not willing to learn than you have already given up. A lesson I have taught on often but never fully understood until I was forced to live it by my own actions summed up in a passage found in Philippians.

“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Messiah Yahoshua. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of Elohim in Messiah Yahoshua.” Philippians 3:12-14

I am sure you have heard of origin stories, every hero and villain has an origin story. Hollywood, loves to make prequels to movies in which they show the origin story of the main hero or villains character. For me my origin story is my ‘latchkey kid beginnings.’ When asked, “What taught you this level of independence?” My response is, “I was a latchkey kid.” Most of my exploring, business ventures, and poor decision making, were a result of my being alone or surrounded by a few friends with adventurous spirits. I don’t blame anyone but myself for any bad decisions in my life and any good ones are the result of good advice or people being in the right place and the right time for me to be successful. I do attribute every good and perfect gift as coming from Adonai, as scripture teaches. I am the result of my parents yes but ultimately the outcome of my life rests on my choices. Today, I choose healthy, healthy thinking, healthy eating (within reason – who doesn’t like donuts), healthy attitude, healthy choices. Today, I choose me, but more importantly I choose the way of the Rabbi.

Obviously it wasn’t always like that, not only did I struggle in life, making many poor decisions, I did so self-righteously. I had a false sense of piety. I faulty faith based on weak interpretations and a lack of true understanding. I compared myself to others in unhealthy ways, “The Pharisee having stood, was praying toward himself thus: ‘Elohim, I thank You that I am not like the rest of the men–swindlers, unrighteous, adulterers–or even like this tax collector.”

“i was the Pharisee.” i concluded.

“This is a big step for you,” the voice from behind the notepad remarked. Then looking up at the clock on the wall she continued, “We’ll pick up here next week.”

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Daily writing prompt

Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.

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The summer between my 2nd and 3rd grade year for my birthday my parents bought me a BMX bike. I have written about my bike in this post from 2020, “me and my bike.” It is the greatest gift given to me in the classical definition. However, there is a gift that isn’t money, it isn’t material, it isn’t something you can buy, or sell. It is free, it is available to everyone, it requires only faith.

“Now faith is the assurance of what we hope for and the certainty of what we do not see. This is why the ancients were commended. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command. So that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.” Hebrews 11:1-3

Faith, by definition is more than belief, it is action. Because one believes in the promises of God, they do. This is where we get the Hall of Faith. Hebrews chapter eleven is our launch point for truly understanding faith. Without knowing what faith truly is it is easy to have a stale belief, pretending to be faith.

We can read how by faith Abel did, by faith Enoch did, by faith Noah did, by faith Abraham did. On and on throughout the Word of Elohim it is the same, by faith the people of Elohim did. The greatest gift of all is the realization that my faith is alive when I do. In other words, I know I have faith because I did that which God commanded. I believed in such a way that I committed myself to action. The gift of faith comes with salvation.

For many salvation means that they no longer have to do, just have faith. But what faith does nothing? Look at the parable of the talents found in Matthew 25. The one who hid his talents earned nothing and in the end lost everything. Yet the two that did, received. So many throw around the word grace, as if it means, license to sin. It doesn’t mean that at all. What grace and its counterpart mercy mean is that the curse of the law was nailed to the cross. This curse was death. Eternal separation from God.

Look at the guy who broke the command of the Sabbath and picked up sticks. He was taken outside the camp and stoned to death. I just read the story of Achan in Joshua 7. “Yahweh said to Joshua, ‘Get up! Why have you fallen on your face? Israel has sinned; they have transgressed my covenant that I commanded them. They have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen and lied and put them among their own belongings.”

In the end it was found out that Achan took these things and hid them in his tent. According to the covenant, he was to be put to death, and he was. “And Joshua and all Israel with him took Achan the son of Zerah. Along with the silver and the cloak and the bar of gold. They also took his sons and daughters. Even his oxen and donkeys and sheep and his tent and all that he had. And they brought them up to the Valley of Achor. And Joshua said, ‘Why did you bring trouble on us? Yahweh brings trouble on you today.’ And all Israel stoned him with stones. They burned them with fire and stoned them with stones.“

The covenant required this of those who transgressed the law. The new covenant isn’t lawless, and it isn’t without penalty. What it has is grace and mercy. No longer is it just a law written on tablets but now it is written on the heart. The commandments stay the same, and faith remains the same, by faith we do. You cannot call yourself a believer in Yahoshua (Jesus), and not do. That was James’ point when he said, “You show me your faith by what you say. I will show you my faith by what I do. For faith without works is dead.”

Yahoshua said, “Why do you call Me Master, Master, and not do what I have commanded?” Yahoshua is the Word made flesh. He is the Torah scroll. On the road to Emmaus recorded in Luke Yahoshua starts at the beginning of the Word. He points out all the places He was present. Confirming the things that must happen and in fact did happen. That He was the Messiah. Then their hearts were open and they recognized Him. They recognized Him the person and the letter. He became complete for them and their passion for living by faith grew. By faith now they did.

This is the call of the believer today. By faith do knowing that the penalty of your sin has been paid. It doesn’t absolve you from living by faith and doing the commands of Yahweh. Show me your faith by your actions. If you believe in Yahoshua, the Son of God, do His commandments. Honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy. After all it is the only commandment that says REMEMBER. But besides the Sabbath, what commandments within the covenant can we honor today? Those you should do, by faith. This is the way of the rabbi.

By faith do,
You are loved,
cj

Repetition and Retention: Wisdom from Proverbs

Paul wrote to the Philippians, “Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Adonai. Writing the same things to you again is no trouble for me. For it is repetition that is a good instructor.” Studies show that repetition is necessary to retain information. Even basic retention of simple contextual ideas require 3 to 7 times of hearing the information. While more complex ideas may require 6 to 20 times. Of course emotionally charged or high-stakes information can be retained almost instantly. This has been my motivation over the past few months. Perhaps, presenting it in different lights for slightly different audiences, nevertheless, it is the same concept repeated. It is in this vain that write to you today.

“Behold, days are coming,” declares Elohim, “when I will send a famine on the land. Not a famine of bread or a thirst for water, but rather for hearing the words of ADONAI.” Amos 8:11

Are we living in the days of famine prophesied by Amos? It sure seems so. No one wants to hear the idea that faith is more than a prayer and Sunday attendance. Reformations and Church splits happen, not because people want things to be more difficult. No, they happen because people want to find the easiest path forward. It is human nature after all to seek ease and comfort. New technologies emerge daily with that simplistic goal in mind, to make life simpler.

Proverbs is a book of wisdom, a collection of thoughts and instruction. It is also laced with warning and a call to obedience, to the instructions of Yahweh. Proverbs chapter one is full of riches. “To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth– Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (1:2-7)

Some definitions that I think will be helpful. Instruction can mean Torah for Torah is Elohim’s instruction. Righteousness in Greek is dikaiosynē which means, the things commanded by God to be obeyed by man. In other words, righteousness is an act of obedience to God. In Hebrew the word is ṣeḏeq which means pretty much the exact same thing. Solomon who is the author of Proverbs was asked by God what he wanted. Solomon responded, “wisdom.” He wanted to be wise. A wise man seeks instruction and obeys without exception those things commanded by God. For this obedience it is counted to him as righteousness.

Proverbs chapter one continues in verse twenty-two, “How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge?” This ties into Amos’ prophecy perfectly. You see the simple today want simpler. They don’t want to be challenged. They will scream grace, grace, but condemn the sinner. They will say, “I am free from the law.” And brush away verses like James 1:22, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

Yahoshua (Jesus), declared, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but by Me. John describes Yahoshua as “. . . the Word made flesh . . . ” He is the living Torah scroll now emblazoned on our hearts and minds. This is the exact description of the New Covenant. It isn’t new instruction, it is new placement, new empowerment. The penalty of death is gone for the one who has faith in Yahoshua. This does not however give one license to keep on sinning. Paul emphasizes this point by asking the question, “Do we then keep on sinning so that grace may abound? By no means!” What is sin, if not transgression of the Torah (law)? John writes, “Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices Torahlessness (lawlessness); sin is Torahlessness (lawlessness).”

Yahoshua during the parable of the persistent widow, asks a stinging question at the end. He asks, “Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?” Faith as defined by itself in Scripture is action and activity of the things of Elohim (God). It is fidelity to the truth, what is truth? God’s Word is Truth, the Torah, and Yahoshua the Word made flesh. Yahoshua asks another question, “Why do you call me Adonai, Adonai, and not do as I ask?” There is one final statement many will hear on the last day. What is it? “Depart from Me you who practice lawlessness (Torahlessness).”

How is one to know what to do if one doesn’t study the Word? The whole Word. The Word the Apostles referred to every single time they say, ‘the Word”, is the Torah. Yet, so many today don’t have any desire to pick up and read it. In the end are they condemning themselves? For the Word says, the very Word of Elohim will judge at the last day. If the Word is the judge shouldn’t one know the Word? This is the Way of the Rabbi.

Will He find Faith?
You are loved,
cj

The Way of the Rabbi

a lifestyle not a religion

Tag: dailyprompt

Mark Twain’s Insight: Pausing Amid the Majority

The Power of Endurance in Faith

Choosing to Listen: Embracing God’s Word Daily

Finding Yourself Through the Guidance of Teachers

My Journey from Ministry to a Deeper Faith

Understanding the Kingdom of Heaven in Parables

Understanding Alma 32: A Response to Mormon Teachings

The Art of Selling Peanuts: My Childhood Story

Open AI found this problematic

Repetition and Retention: Wisdom from Proverbs

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