Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, a time in which we gather to be thankful. For most of us, we can raddle off a half dozen things in no time at all; God, family, friends, pets, work, home, health. See, not so hard at all, i didn’t even mention my wife and kids by name; which i very well could, for each one is such an amazing blessing that i am incredibly thankful. For many, however, it isn’t so easy to make such a list; Broken homes, broken hearts, brokenness.

Is there a holiday for lamenting? In the TV series Seinfeld, there is an episode where they celebrate “Festivus” and “the airing of grievances.” As ridiculous as “Festivus” is, that holiday is actually not that bad an idea. In the book, we call the Bible there is a section called, “Lamentations.” It is a book of lamenting. Here is how it begins:

“Oh no! She sits alone, the city that was once full of people. Once great among nations, she has become like a widow. Once a queen over provinces, she has become a slave. She weeps bitterly in the night, her tears on her cheek. None of her lovers comfort her. All her friends lied to her; they have become her enemies. (Lamentations 1:1-2 CEB)

There is something to be said for lamenting, letting things out, there is a season for it. A time and a purpose. It is actually good for the soul to let things out and not to hold things in. Can one lament too much, too often? Yes! The book of Lamentations is only five chapters long. What does that mean? There comes appoint when we stop lamenting. Here is how Lamentations ends:

“Return us, LORD, to Yourself. Please let us return! Give us new days, like those long ago– unless You have completely rejected us, or have become too angry with us.” (Lamentations 5:21-22 CEB)

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read one of my favorite passages of Scripture and the influence of the hit song by “The Byrds” “Turn, Turn, Turn” from 1965 although the song was adapted by Pete Seeger a few years earlier the “Byrds” really took off with it…(laughy crying face emoji). Anyway, this passage is such wisdom:

A season for everything

3 There’s a season for everything
    and a time for every matter under the heavens:
²    a time for giving birth and a time for dying,
    a time for planting and a time for uprooting what was planted,
³    a time for killing and a time for healing,
    a time for tearing down and a time for building up,
⁴    a time for crying and a time for laughing,
    a time for mourning and a time for dancing,
⁵    a time for throwing stones and a time for gathering stones,
    a time for embracing and a time for avoiding embraces,
⁶    a time for searching and a time for losing,
    a time for keeping and a time for throwing away,
⁷    a time for tearing and a time for repairing,
    a time for keeping silent and a time for speaking,
⁸    a time for loving and a time for hating,
    a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3)

May it be, as it is my prayer for all of us if you find yourself in a season of lament, to pause for a moment and laugh or dance, to love and make peace, to heal or to build up, to gather and embrace. Happy Thanksgiving!

You are loved,

Distractions

Distractions are all around us, always. They come in many forms, phones, games, apps, twitter, facebook, people, etc these distractions can be both good and bad. Either way, they must be taken care of in the moment or they will continue to distract you. Why? Because what distracts you may be exactly what you need to be doing or paying attention to. Let me explain. i often sit to write or pray or study and find my mind wandering. That’s my cue to stop and figure out why or what is distracting me. If it is thoughts i begin writing them down, if its a game or an app i shut them off. If i am on Twitter or Facebook i check my notifications and then exit the app. i set things aside, move, turn off music, turn on music…i do what i can to remove the distraction and sometimes that means engaging it for a moment to be able to set it aside.

What happens if the distraction is a person? Just the other day i was sitting and trying to write when a student sat in the window. i was completely distracted. i desperately wanted to get some work done until it came to me, maybe, just maybe, this student was the “work” the Lord really wanted me to focus on in that moment. No one was going to die if i didn’t get my other work done in that moment, but the impact i could end up having on that “distraction” might change the world or at least a life.

Let me encourage you the next time you get frustrated because of a distraction that you stop and ask yourself, “is this a distraction or an opportunity?” If its a distraction, do what you need to set it aside if it’s an opportunity then set your work aside and make a difference.

1 Corinthians 7:35 “I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

Hebrews 12:2 “fixing our attention on Jesus, the pioneer, and perfecter of the faith, who, in view of the joy set before him, endured the cross, disregarding its shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Proverbs 4:25 “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.”

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you”

More than mere words…part two

There is a point within the greaving process where one earns the right to speak life into a situation. However, even with that permission, there are a few do’s and don’ts to the process you should know about. Now before we enter the list of do’s and don’ts let me also say that there are exceptions, here are a few of them; 1, You are a trained professional and they have come to you seeking help. 2, You are a trusted close friend whom they have confided in and they have specifically asked you for your thoughts. 3, They have asked you for your thoughts. 4, They have come to you asking you for advice. 5, They sought you out and asked you for your input. 6, Are you catching the theme? Rule number 1, do not cross the greaving line if you haven’t been asked or given an opening through conversation.

Now for our do’s when speaking life into a greaving heart. First, be absolutely certain they are ready to receive whatever you are about to say if you aren’t absolutely certain, hold your tongue. If all the lights are green proceed with caution, be gentle, remain sympathetic and empathetic. Listen more than you speak. It is ok to use some Scripture, here is a good one, Deuteronomy 31:8; “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Use real life, personal stories, they do not have to be yours just besure you have permission to share or change the names and places. Be optimistic but do not make promises or guarantees, with the exception of Jesus not abandoning them. Pray with and for them, at the moment.

Here are the don’ts. This list can really be a long one but i am going to try to keep it simple. Don’t overuse Scripture, i know you are going to want too and you are going to justify it in your mind…don’t do it. Some is good, but too much is a bad thing. Encourage them to read the Word, and pray about it but just don’t quote Scripture. If they wanted a preacher they’d go to the pastor, (you could encourage them to talk to a pastor). Don’t say, “I will pray for you.” (As written up in the do’s, pray for them on the spot, let them hear you!) DO NOT be like these guys, Jobs friends, because in the end, God said this to them, “I am angry with you [Eliphaz] and your two friends because you have not spoken the truth about me.” Job 42:7. Do not speak in cliche’s because most of them although said to be biblical are NOT!

When i have gone through difficult times i have needed empathy first, encouragement second and advice last. Besides, advice, given without request only sounds degrading. You may not use the words but i guarantee it sounds like this, “YOU SHOULD HAVE…” Capped with, “YOU IDIOT!” There may come a time for those words but i assure you, it won’t be early on and it better be coming from my best friend. Being there for someone going through tragedy is hard but it can be a blessing as well, as you show empathy, and encouragement, you will gain wisdom, and i can promise you that!

You are Loved,

More than mere words…part one

“Everything is going to be ok.” Have you heard those words before, spoken to you by someone trying to comfort you? There are a lot of one-liners out there meant to encourage or comfort us…however, those are just words. Time and time again when i have been down or just need a boost, i have heard, “hang in there, things are going to get better.” Even though they are right, things eventually got better, those were not the words i needed to hear. What i needed at the time was someone to empathize with me.

Empathy is defined this way by Websters Dictionary, “the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” i needed someone to say, “you know what that does suck, and i can only imagine what you are going through. Life sure can be unfair.” Empathy is far more comforting than some of our most uplifting sayings. Matthew records Jesus’ sermon on the mount in Chapter 5, where Jesus says, “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Maybe this is where we get our over need to comfort those going through seemingly difficult times.

There are so many passages in scripture that bring comfort when one is ready to hear them…but there is a mourning period. Traditionally, looking at Scripture as our root, the mourning period lasted 7 days, with some exceptions of 30 days. For this period of mourning, there was crying, lamenting, tearing of clothes, folks did not groom themselves during the time of mourning either. Traditional readings stopped as well during this period, along with celebrations and work. True mourning was a shared experience of the grief-stricken, empathy. There is something very comforting knowing that one is not walking alone, crying alone, alone.

There is a time when mourning ends. The mourner then moves on the best they can in light of the tragedy they just came. It is at this point we offer the encouragement to continue on, move on, and press on, come into play. Certainly not before or during mourning. The most comforting thing you can do when someone is greaving is to be present, be available, cry with them, lament with them, don’t try to be the fixer, just be. When the period of mourning is over, then begin to encourage them. In Job when his friends first got on the scene they responded perfectly, “When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.” Job 2:12-13

The first part of getting through a difficult time is mourning. The best way to comfort a person in mourning is to empathize with them, more than mere words, live life with them in their shoes, their feelings, their sorrow. Earn the right to encourage them at the right time through your empathizing cries.

You are Loved,

καιρός

Have you ever prayed and prayed and prayed, and it seems as if God isn’t listening? Or you haven’t received the answer you were looking for, or you didn’t like the answer you were given? Welcome to life. There are many reasons why prayers go unanswered. There is a country song (Listen Here) that mainly talks about unanswered prayers being a good thing. It definitely isn’t a bad thing when some of our prayers go unanswered. i want to touch briefly on a few reasons why it seems our prayers go unanswered or why we don’t get the answer that we think is best. This is not an exhaustive study by any means but a quick glance to better our understanding.

First, motives. We need to have the right motives when praying. How are we using the answer or how will the answer benefit us? James 4:3 says, “And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong-you want only what will give you pleasure.” i could stop there because that is pretty clear but let me take us to another passage. 1 John 5:14-15 reads, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we asked of Him.” Let me assure you that if you “Seek first the Kingdom of God…” Your will and God’s will, will be one in the same and motives will not be what hinders your prayers.

Second, sin. God is under no obligation to answer our prayers and especially if we are not living right. If you are a non-believer the only prayer that you can be 100% assured God will hear and answer is that of you crying out to Him for salvation. After that, our continued sin can be a hindrance to our prayers. Isaiah 59:2 says, “Your iniquities (sin) have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear.” and in 1 Peter 3:12 we read, “The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and His ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns His face against those who do evil.” Now we know that God does not abandon us. He desires to bless us, i simply point out God’s word to us. Jesus teaches God’s desire in Matthew 7:9-11 (NIV) “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!“

Third, delays. It could be that your answer was sent to you from the moment you started praying. However, there is a spiritual battle going on that you can not see but is there, and it is delaying your answer. Daniel finds this out, and we can read about it in Daniel 10:12-14 (NLT) “Then he said, ‘Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first-day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer. But for twenty-one days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way. Then Michael, one of the archangels, came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia. Now I am here to exprain what will happen to your people in the future, for this vision concerns a time yet to come.‘”

Fourth, timing. This one is a big one! If you say, i have confessed my sin, and i trust that my motive and intention are in line with God’s will, it may just be, that the timing might not be right. There might be work yet to do. It might involve others who have free will as you do and God is still working on them. Patience is key. Hebrews 10:36 (NLT) says, “Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.” Hebrews 6:13-15 (NLT) reads, “For example, there was God’s promise to Abraham. Since there was no one greater to swear by, God took an oath in His own name, saying: ‘I will certainly bless you, and I will multiply your descendants beyond number.’ Then Abraham waited patiently, and he received what God had promised.'”

Finally, we need to trust in God’s timing. Kairos (καιρός) is an Ancient Greek word meaning the right, critical or opportune moment. His timing is perfect. Instead of being angry or impatient with unanswered prayer, look at it as an opportunity. An opportunity to make sure you and God are in a good place. An opportunity to make sure your motives are pure. An opportunity to grow in spiritual strength equipping you for more significant battles down the road. An opportunity to be at the exact right time and the exact right place to see God’s mighty hand move in ways you couldn’t even have hoped or imagined!

You are Loved,

the divided states of america

i am about to wade into deep waters. i love The United States of America, even in its divided state. We still live in a country that allows anyone to accomplish anything they set their mind to…allbeit some, unfortunately, need to work harder than others based on factors that shouldn’t be, yet are. For the sake of not being ambiguous, race, sex, social class etc. are some of these determining factors that increase or decrease one’s ability to achieve their dreams with some work or tons of work, relatively speaking.

Let me first express the ideal. This ideal is based on Scripture. It is not ambiguous, it is straightforward, it hides nothing, there are no muddy waters, no questions, it is simply truth from God’s Word. This message is to the Church, it is available to anyone, yet directed to the Body of Christ. Are you ready?

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are His heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.” (Galatians 3:26-29)

“Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” (Colossians 3:10-15)

Life isn’t perfect, in fact, there are injustices every day! Life is, unfair. There are mean people, they will spitefully use you, treat you poorly, call you all sorts of names, steal from you and gossip about you. This does not excuse it, it just explains it. People suck. We are not called to live like that, we, who name Jesus as our Lord, are to act the opposite. Sadly we often forget to, hence this gentle reminder. Even those that treat us as stated above are to be prayed for, forgiven, shown grace, given from our abundance…the Word is not ambiguous, leaves no doubt, gives no out.

How you respond to being offended matters! How you respond to folks you do not agree with matters! How you respond to someone who is not treating you the way you want to be treated matters! What we do as Christians matters, and because it matters we need to run everything we do through the filter of the cross. Love the unlovable, pray for those that spitefully use us and forgive everyone, quickly! Love covers a multitude of sins. Love uncompromised, all believers should love from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith.

You are Loved,

You’re doing it wrong…

When it seems as if God isn’t talking, we can begin to lose sight of the bigger picture and live only for ourselves in the past. By the past i really mean the past; We rely on old stories of days gone by. i don’t mean reminiscing or sharing exciting memories but what i do mean is we aren’t trying to or living to make any more new ones. Some may not even have any stories of their own but simply rely on the stories of others.

Fact, Jesus want’s to talk to you right now. Fact, it will require you to put things aside and spend time with Him. Fact, He want’s to use you in adventurous ways. Fact, it will demand that you trust in him completely. Fact, none of these things are easy. Talking to Jesus can be scary because He might say things you don’t want to hear, but need to hear. Putting things aside, clearing your schedule, is difficult; With adventure comes challenges, and challenges test our trust and requires simple faith…and by simple, i mean Herculean faith.

A few things to consider. You have to believe that Jesus wants to talk to you. One of my favorite verses is Psalms 5:3 “Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.” (NLT) We can wait expectantly because we know that His Holy Spirit is at work, John 14:26 says; “The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you.” (MSG) When you pray, pause and give time to hear what Jesus would say to you. Solomon once prayed that God would give him a hearing heart, a heart that hears and understands. (1 Kings 3:9)

Go on great new grand adventures with Jesus! The Christian life is not boring…if you think it is, you’re doing it wrong!

you are LOVED,
cj

The Adventure of a Lifetime!

Once when i was eight years old, i went exploring a construction site. A soon to be apartment building made for a great playground in the eyes of my friends and i. Framed in staircases, partially framed walls, and planks across open spaces in the floor made for a grand adventure. Albeit, a dangerous and illegal one. Our mission, to avoid the one lone security guard patrolling the site which included several separate buildings.

Many spend most of their lives doing what my friends and i did at eight. They feel as if they are living a life of adventure because the adrenaline is pumping through their veins. What they don’t realize, often until it’s too late, is they are in constant peril. The danger of a wrong step could lead to severe injury or even death and of course, there is the constant looking over your shoulder in fear of getting caught.

The world would have you think that being a Christian is boring. That life in Christ is the opposite of adventure. However, that couldn’t be any further from the truth. There are countries where being a Christian is illegal, and you could be thrown in prison or killed. Although we live in a relatively safe environment to be a Christian, there is still some great adventure to be had! Just take a look at some of these stories…

Rachel from the Axiom has a great story of when she was just starting to get back into the church when she had a confrontation with a girl she had fought in the past. This girl wanted a “rematch” however, Rachel in her now living for Jesus refused to fight. Several years later the girl saw her in church and gave her a big hug, “That day changed my life!” she said.
Some local Missionaries the LaGatta’s, were in El Salvador when they were kidnapped at gunpoint, driven to the desert and left. They survived with not only a great story of faith but a memory of great adventure.
Then there is this: 9 Year Old Willie Myrick <<< Click the link it’s awesome!

These remind me of some stories found in the greatest adventure story ever written…

Acts 9:23-25 tells the part of the story (read below) of Saul/Paul’s escape after many were seeking to kill him. “After this had gone on quite a long time, some Jews conspired to kill him, but Saul got wind of it. They were watching the city gates around the clock so they could kill him. Then one night the disciples engineered his escape by lowering him over the wall in a basket.”
Acts 16:25-26 a story about an earthquake and a none prison break that lead to the jailer coming to know Jesus with his whole family. “Along about midnight, Paul and Silas were at prayer and singing a robust hymn to God. The other prisoners couldn’t believe their ears. Then, without warning, a huge earthquake! The jailhouse tottered, every door flew open, all the prisoners were loose.”
John 11:1-44 shares the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. It’s insane! Here is part of it:”Then he shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face.
Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him loose.”

If you have accepted Jesus and consider yourself a follower of His, a disciple, rest assured…you are on the adventure of a lifetime!

You are LOVED,
cj

I am so mad I could spit

i had a friend growing up named Spencer, he was both a friend and an enemy, as we fought as much as we got along. He had a funny expression when he would get upset, “I am so mad I could spit!” He never did spit, his mom was pretty strict, okay very strict. I remember one time we were swimming in the apartment pool and he yelled out, “DARN IT!” after missing a pass as we tossed a football back and forth. His momma came out of the house faster than a jackrabbit being chased by a coyote. “Spencer Allen, you get in this house right now!” Fear gripped his eyes and bewilderment my mind, “what did you do?” i asked. “I cussed,” he said, as he walked the walk of shame up to his apartment.

A few years later i got in trouble for saying, “damn it” and as i was being punished i thought about how strict my parents were; then i remembered…pour Spencer Allen. Nowadays young people are just a bunch of sailors, as the stereotype goes, cussing up a storm. i read a Facebook post about a parent volunteering at school and witnessing this along with all the disrespect towards teachers just this morning. As a youth pastor, i interact with teens on a regular basis, and this sort of behavior is on the rise and seems to be accelerating at a high rate of speed. It reminded me of a passage in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 it says:

“Don’t be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people.”

i read this in two ways, one as a warning to watch our character. To be vigilant in our pursuit of that which is holy; body, mind, and soul. The other part is to be watchful of those we would associate with on a regular basis. Your core group of friends should be like minded as you in Christ. You are going to interact with folks found in the passage above as well you should. You may even call some your friend, again this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It becomes bad when those are your core friendships. It is easier to pull down than to lift up. Here is one more passage to end for today found in Ephesians 4:

29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

30 Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.

31-32 Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

You are LOVED,
cj

Prayer Journey

i have been on a bit of a prayer journey the past couple of weeks and i have invited you along. If you follow me on social media (see links below). i just want to take a minute and recap where i have been and where i am on this journey. First the challenge was to consider our biggest dreams for life and ministry what would you fearlessly ask for if you knew anything was possible? Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Do you believe it?

Next i looked at UNLESS; “Unless the Lord builds the house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.” (Psalm 127:1) What a powerful image. i want for us to seek the Lord in all we do and unless Jesus go with us…

Then came brokenhearted. What if we changed our perspective on how we look at those around us, even those hardest to love? What if we took the heart of the Lord and made it ours? Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the BROKENHEARTED and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” May we become a place of healing for the broken hearts, young and old.

One, Jesus said, “I have given them the glory You game Me, so they may be one as we are ONE. I am in them and You are in Me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that You sent Me and that You love them as much as you love Me.“ By one thoughtless or careless word relationships can crumble…yet through Jesus we can all find reconciliation and be ONE as God is ONE, He in us and us in Him! When we are one in heart and spirit there is nothing we can’t do through Christ!

Now that you are on this journey with me, once we have come through these truths we see that God is at work in and through us. That His desire is for us to be about His business. He doesn’t just call us but He also equips us! “For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” (Romans 12:4-6) He has GIFTED us with a GIFT to love and to serve, what is your gift?

UNLESS God goes with us, our outreach to the brokenhearted is in vain. We must be ONE with Him, using the GIFTS He has graciously given us to reach this GENERATION for the Kingdom.

you are LOVED,
cj

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The Way of the Rabbi

a lifestyle not a religion

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a lifestyle not a religion

A season for everything

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