In our brokenness, You have made us whole, Thy Kingdom Come

This is the final installment of our series, “Thy Kingdom Come.” We have been looking at the significance of God’s Kingdom now, in light of our humanness. Our final look, being made whole even in our brokenness. We are broken. The world that was created in which God took a step back and declared “This is Good,” is, no longer…well, good. It is broken. Sin and death have entered through rebellion, and we are suffering the effects of those choices still today. Our hope, in the promise of God that all things will be made new and that through Jesus we too can experience the newness of His perfect creation.

God’s first step (and the only step we will look at today) in this recreation is to make us whole again. An atonement for our sins offered. That act alone is what is required for our salvation. No amount of good works, good deeds, good thoughts, good vibes, or good anything will make up the difference needed…only what was offered on the cross will do. This redemptive act is the pinnacle of our salvation. Colossians 1:19-22 NLT reads like this:

19 For God in all his fullness
    was pleased to live in Christ,
²⁰and through him God reconciled
    everything to himself.
He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth
    by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.

²¹This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions.²²Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

This reconciliation has come about by God’s grace. As we end this series, “Thy Kingdom Come” and move into a look at the death and resurrection of Jesus. The very thing we talk about today. i want us to understand that we stand wholly in the Kindom even in our broken world on the merits of Jesus our Lord. As our world grows increasingly hostile to Christianity as a whole, we must not only rest in the assurance of our salvation but also in the warning. First here in Colossians 1:23 NLT.

²³But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed as God’s servant to proclaim it.

There are countless other warnings that sadly many will ignore, but i offer you this in Colossians 2:6-7 (NLT) a way to keep steady, a way to experience God’s Kingdom here in a broken world. Daily being made whole in our brokenness.

⁶And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him.⁷Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Finally, yet another warning. Because the power of this world, the pull, the temptation, is strong, so we must remain alert. Let your gratitude and thankfulness flow in a manner that builds on the foundation Jesus Christ is. Do not be fooled again by the empty promises or the schemes of the prince of this world. You see, “...we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 NLT. Therefore:

⁸Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers^[a] of this world, rather than from Christ.⁹For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body.^[b]¹⁰So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. Colossians 2:8-10 NLT.

In our brokenness, You have made us whole, Thy Kingdom Come.

You are loved,

In our offering, and in our service, Thy Kingdom Come

With the passing of the Reverend Billy Graham today i think it fitting that we have reached this point in our “Thy Kingdom Come” series. No doubt he (Rev. Graham) heard the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant” when he walked into glory. His humility throughout his life is something to be emulated, not to mention his desire to offer of himself and serve. There are two quotes i want to share here from the Rev. Billy Graham that i have read today in various places. The first, “The highest form of worship is the worship of unselfish Christian service. The greatest form of praise is the sound of consecrated feet seeking out the lost and helpless.” WOW, i find myself both in agreement and challenged at these words. And that’s only the first quote! Here is the second, “Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent.” Here i am comforted and inspired.

When the church uses the word “offering” folks immediately jump to tithes or money. Although that is definitely a part, it is not the whole. You see offering is giving and one can and should give from the heart. Whether that is tithe or special gifts or time, effort, and resources of a non-monetary form. When we make an offering of time to the church, the body of Christ, we are essentially giving in multiple areas. One might ask, “Isn’t that service?” Yes, and no, is the answer. Yes in that we are serving the church when we offer our time and talents. However, service is much deeper. By this, i mean that we are to serve everyone, not just the members of the body of Christ.

i want us to look at Matthew 25:31-40 here we will see exactly what i am talking about straight from Jesus’ mouth (from the Message).

^31-33“When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him, and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.

^34-36“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why:

I was hungry, and you fed me,
I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless, and you gave me a room,
I was shivering, and you gave me clothes,
I was sick, and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison, and you came to me.’

^37-40“Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'”

i really like how the Message spells this out, “Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me — you did it to me.” WOW! When we make self-sacrificing service, through sincere faith, we do so unto the Lord. This has challenged me over the years to evaluate why i do, why i give, why i serve, why i live essentially. What is my motive, what is my expectation, what is my heart? The answer, reveals whether or not i am serving others or myself…whether my actions are selfless or selfish. This passage continues…41-46

^41-43“Then he will turn to the ‘goats,’ the ones on his left, and say, ‘Get out, worthless goats! You’re good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

I was hungry, and you gave me no meal,
I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless, and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering, and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited.’

⁴⁴“Then those ‘goats’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn’t help?’

⁴⁵“He will answer them, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.’

⁴⁶“Then those ‘goats’ will be herded to their eternal doom, but the ‘sheep’ to their eternal reward.”

Each of us holds a piece of the puzzle. Putting the puzzle together can be challenging. We will make mistakes. We will find our intentions were selfish, our motives, wrong. But do not lose heart, do not grow weary in doing good as it says in Galatians 6:9. We have unique and specific giftings, talents, and resources, each of us must examine ourselves and make an offering of our lives in service; financially and physically. Let me remind us of Rev. Graham’s words, “Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent.” We may not always get it right, but we must still be ready, willing and able. As we learn to live in our Lords Kingdom here and now.

In our offering, and in our service, THY KINGDOM COME!

You are loved,

In our temptation, You have made A WAY, Thy Kingdom Come

In 1 Corinthians 10:13 we read: “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” Prior to this verse, Paul tells the Corinthians and subsequently us, that the early Jewish nation, “For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ.” Yet, even still, “…with most of them, God was not well pleased.” Why? Well, because the consistently gave into temptation without remorse or repentance. The caveat, our example. (1 Corinthians 6-11)

“⁶Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. ⁷And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.” ⁸Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; ⁹nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; ¹⁰nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. ¹¹Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come.”

Now to us, take heed to these warnings, and hold fast to the promise that God will give you an escape hatch when temptation comes your way. What a great feeling to know that God is looking out for us, that He has our best in mind, our prosperity and not our destruction. We need only seek Him with our whole heart and we will find Him. On the other hand, the devil is aware also and he is fighting for your soul as well. He will stop at nothing to gain control of you and he knows just how to tempt you. He knows your weaknesses, maybe even better than you do. In fact, as Paul warns in verse 12, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.” Do not get too confident in your own ability to stand but lean on Jesus. Jesus is the ESCAPE HATCH.

you are loved,

In our need, by Your care, Thy Kingdom Come

As i wrote about last week, hope is a great motivator but what happens when we find ourselves in need? Desperate or otherwise. We must remember the hope that we have in Christ. We also must remember the Lords “will be done.” Sometimes we find ourselves in circumstances that are not of our doing. We suffer through times that have been brought on by others or natural disasters. In those times we can often lose sight of hope. Yet we mustn’t. It is easy to react, not so easy to relax and wait. Patience is a virtue for a reason. It is a skill that is learned, trained, honed.

Some people are born with patience. It seems their feathers never get ruffled. One such person in history might be the most patient of all and that would be Jesus. We understand that although Jesus was fully God He was also fully man. Hebrews 2:17-18 says:

“For this reason, He had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that He might make atonement for this sins of the people. Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted.” (NIV)

And in Philippians 2:5-7:

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Chris Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” (ESV)

i am sure i have written about His prayer in Gethsemane however, i want to look there again as all of human history. Salvation, reconciliation, love, hope, faith, promise, everything you can think of hinged on that moment in the garden. Jesus being fully man felt the weight of the world on His shoulders and He was in desperate need of the Father. Here is the account found in Matthew 26:36-46:

^{36 “}Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” ³⁷He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.³⁸Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” ³⁹Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” ⁴⁰Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. ⁴¹“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” ⁴²He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” ⁴³When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. ⁴⁴So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. ⁴⁵Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. ⁴⁶Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!” (NIV)

In the midst of the greatest struggle in human history. The temptation to seek another means of getting the job done. For sealing our fate in the hope of the cross. Jesus prayed three times, three times He asked, “If there is another way…” Yet, in the end, “Thy will be done” Let us pray in such a way. May it be our heart to pour out but in the end have the hope that God’s way is greater than ours and His will, far better than anything we could ever think or imagine. After all, it is God’s Kingdom now that we are seeking, praying for and can find in the power of the resurrection and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

In our need, by Your care, Thy Kingdom Come.

You are Loved,

Stay in Your Lane

i had a supervisor once that gave me some of the most excellent advice i had ever received. He said, “stay in your lane.” i was working at Mervyn’s, was hired on as Christmas help, part-time, seasonal. What that meant for me was that i was to be terminated or let go, following the Christmas rush. It was announced, however, that there would be a few held over, or hired on as either, full or part-time after Christmas. i wanted to be one of those and told my supervisor such, and his advice of “stay in your lane” was just what i needed to hear.

Sometimes when we want something bad enough we attempt to do more than we are capable. Or maybe we are capable, but because we spread ourselves so thin we do a lot of things, but none of them are done great. So we look mediocre at best. While at Mervyn’s i did my best to “stay in my lane.” What were my responsibilities and how could i most efficiently get those done? For instance, i recall on one particular Saturday i was tasked with the Levi wall and cash wrap or POS (point of sale) or the cash register to be clear. i was to stock the denim section while keeping an eye on the registers in the Men’s Department. And so i did. Others had other responsibilities, and i let those people do them…if i felt like the registers needed more than myself, i called for backup. i maintained a clean cash wrap; i would bring out stock each time i went to the stockroom, or the restroom, or back from break or lunch. i knew my place, and i stayed in my lane.

When the holidays were over, i was hired on because i was able to do my job efficiently. i looked good. It wasn’t long after being hired on that i was promoted to Coordinator and then Team Lead. Each time understanding my place in the organization. My place in the mission of the store. God has gifted each of us for specific areas within His Church. He wants us to be efficient and effective in using our gifts. In order for that to happen, we need to “stay in our lane.” We need each other to be successful in life; God doesn’t need us, He wants us, we don’t need to do everything just “stay in our lane.”

Ephesians 4:11-13The Message (MSG)

7-13 But that doesn’t mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift. The text for this is,

He climbed the high mountain,
He captured the enemy and seized the booty,
He handed it all out in gifts to the people.
Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ’s followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ’s body, the church, until we’re all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God’s Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:15-26The Message (MSG)

19-24 But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn’t be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own. Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, “Get lost; I don’t need you”? Or, Head telling Foot, “You’re fired; your job has been phased out”? As a matter of fact, in practice it works the other way—the “lower” the part, the more basic, and therefore necessary. You can live without an eye, for instance, but not without a stomach. When it’s a part of your own body you are concerned with, it makes no difference whether the part is visible or clothed, higher or lower. You give it dignity and honor just as it is, without comparisons. If anything, you have more concern for the lower parts than the higher. If you had to choose, wouldn’t you prefer good digestion to full-bodied hair?

25-26 The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.

Find your part. Stay in your lane. Crossover when needed. But find ways to be effective and efficient in your lane. The mission of the Church, God has so graciously gifted you for, and do your very best at it.

You are Loved,

13 Years and Counting

i have been writing a book for 13 years, that’s right you heard me, 13 years. i guess you can say that i am persistent or lazy. i would say, i am self-conscience of ability. However, one day that book will be completed, and it will be read by at least two people, my mom, and my dad. Now imagine this, the Bible which many refer to as the “Good Book” is actually a collection of works, both books, and letters. There are 66 of them written by 40 different authors over a period of…well…thousands of years.

The influence that the Bible has had over the years is unfathomable. It has had both good and bad impacts on the world depending on who was doing the interpreting. It is an adventure story, love story, comedy, history, and wisdom. It is if read correctly, the answer to all of life’s questions…and by life’s questions i mean any and every question you might have ever in your life.

In 2 Timothy 3 we read in verses 16 and 17 “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” And again in 2 Peter 1:20-21 we read, “But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.” There are a few other places that talk about this idea of the impactfulness and importance of Scripture, google it some time.

The book that i have been writing will not take thousands of years…at best i only have about 50ish years left to live. It will not even come close to impacting the world as the Bible has either. There have been countless books written, but none have claimed so much, promised so much, explained so much and been right so much ever! There is no book that has outsold or been stolen more than the Bible either…how’s that for distribution?

We have only our integrity…

Well done, good and faithful servant…enter into the Master’s joy. In the end, all we have is our integrity. We will not have silver, or gold, not even sacks of copper coins. We will not have family, friends, property, nor will we have good works, we will have only our integrity.

Integrity:
1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull.

That definition is from my Dictionary.com app on my phone. Integrity is a difficult thing to maintain. Actually, it is pretty near impossible in our own life unless we adhere to a stricter teaching. It is arguably universally recognized that Jesus was a man of integrity. i indeed believe it, of course, i also believe Him to be the manifested presence of God in human form…there’s a blog idea! Anyway, the reason now that i want to look at Jesus, there are so many reasons too, is His integrity.

When faced with temptation He met it not on His own merit or ability but by a strict teaching. Let us look together at His recorded early temptations found in Matthew 4. i encourage you to read the account found in the first 11 verses of Matthew 4. However, i will summarize it here.

Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted by the Devil. The devil tempted Him with the idea of food because Jesus had been fasting, Jesus’ response, “It’s written, people won’t live only by bread but by every word spoken by God.” Was it a sin to eat? No, absolutely not, could Jesus do what the devil asked of Him? Absolutely Yes! What about the second? Satan said to Jesus, throw yourself off this high place and angels will catch you. Jesus responded, “Again it’s written, don’t test the Lord Your God.”

Finally, the devil took Jesus to a point and told Him all would be His if He bowed and worshiped him. Jesus replied, “Go away, Satan, because it’s written, you will worship the Lord your God and serve only Him.” With the exception of the third temptation, these are not deal breakers…one could even argue the last one isn’t either. Many of us worship more than God daily, whether it is money, relationships, carriers, etc.

The point here is simply that in order to maintain integrity we must filter all things, good or bad, down to the intent of the heart, through Scripture in order to keep a disciplined life, built on integrity. The first, food, Jesus knew He would be taken care of, what mattered at that moment was His integrity not whether He ate. The second, Jesus knew angels would catch Him, but what mattered was His integrity not whether He proved a point. The third, Jesus knew the redemption road was going to be long and painful. The struggle was real and later revealed itself in the garden when Jesus prayed, “Let this cup pass from me…”

Yet, He (Jesus) knew what mattered at that moment wasn’t the quickest route to success but His integrity to God’s Word, His Law, His relationship with the Father. It is our integrity that lasts, and in a day and age where integrity is a lost art, my prayer for us is that we will return to a patterned life of integrity.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, a time in which we gather to be thankful. For most of us, we can raddle off a half dozen things in no time at all; God, family, friends, pets, work, home, health. See, not so hard at all, i didn’t even mention my wife and kids by name; which i very well could, for each one is such an amazing blessing that i am incredibly thankful. For many, however, it isn’t so easy to make such a list; Broken homes, broken hearts, brokenness.

Is there a holiday for lamenting? In the TV series Seinfeld, there is an episode where they celebrate “Festivus” and “the airing of grievances.” As ridiculous as “Festivus” is, that holiday is actually not that bad an idea. In the book, we call the Bible there is a section called, “Lamentations.” It is a book of lamenting. Here is how it begins:

“Oh no! She sits alone, the city that was once full of people. Once great among nations, she has become like a widow. Once a queen over provinces, she has become a slave. She weeps bitterly in the night, her tears on her cheek. None of her lovers comfort her. All her friends lied to her; they have become her enemies. (Lamentations 1:1-2 CEB)

There is something to be said for lamenting, letting things out, there is a season for it. A time and a purpose. It is actually good for the soul to let things out and not to hold things in. Can one lament too much, too often? Yes! The book of Lamentations is only five chapters long. What does that mean? There comes appoint when we stop lamenting. Here is how Lamentations ends:

“Return us, LORD, to Yourself. Please let us return! Give us new days, like those long ago– unless You have completely rejected us, or have become too angry with us.” (Lamentations 5:21-22 CEB)

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read one of my favorite passages of Scripture and the influence of the hit song by “The Byrds” “Turn, Turn, Turn” from 1965 although the song was adapted by Pete Seeger a few years earlier the “Byrds” really took off with it…(laughy crying face emoji). Anyway, this passage is such wisdom:

A season for everything

3 There’s a season for everything
    and a time for every matter under the heavens:
²    a time for giving birth and a time for dying,
    a time for planting and a time for uprooting what was planted,
³    a time for killing and a time for healing,
    a time for tearing down and a time for building up,
⁴    a time for crying and a time for laughing,
    a time for mourning and a time for dancing,
⁵    a time for throwing stones and a time for gathering stones,
    a time for embracing and a time for avoiding embraces,
⁶    a time for searching and a time for losing,
    a time for keeping and a time for throwing away,
⁷    a time for tearing and a time for repairing,
    a time for keeping silent and a time for speaking,
⁸    a time for loving and a time for hating,
    a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3)

May it be, as it is my prayer for all of us if you find yourself in a season of lament, to pause for a moment and laugh or dance, to love and make peace, to heal or to build up, to gather and embrace. Happy Thanksgiving!

You are loved,

More than mere words…part two

There is a point within the greaving process where one earns the right to speak life into a situation. However, even with that permission, there are a few do’s and don’ts to the process you should know about. Now before we enter the list of do’s and don’ts let me also say that there are exceptions, here are a few of them; 1, You are a trained professional and they have come to you seeking help. 2, You are a trusted close friend whom they have confided in and they have specifically asked you for your thoughts. 3, They have asked you for your thoughts. 4, They have come to you asking you for advice. 5, They sought you out and asked you for your input. 6, Are you catching the theme? Rule number 1, do not cross the greaving line if you haven’t been asked or given an opening through conversation.

Now for our do’s when speaking life into a greaving heart. First, be absolutely certain they are ready to receive whatever you are about to say if you aren’t absolutely certain, hold your tongue. If all the lights are green proceed with caution, be gentle, remain sympathetic and empathetic. Listen more than you speak. It is ok to use some Scripture, here is a good one, Deuteronomy 31:8; “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Use real life, personal stories, they do not have to be yours just besure you have permission to share or change the names and places. Be optimistic but do not make promises or guarantees, with the exception of Jesus not abandoning them. Pray with and for them, at the moment.

Here are the don’ts. This list can really be a long one but i am going to try to keep it simple. Don’t overuse Scripture, i know you are going to want too and you are going to justify it in your mind…don’t do it. Some is good, but too much is a bad thing. Encourage them to read the Word, and pray about it but just don’t quote Scripture. If they wanted a preacher they’d go to the pastor, (you could encourage them to talk to a pastor). Don’t say, “I will pray for you.” (As written up in the do’s, pray for them on the spot, let them hear you!) DO NOT be like these guys, Jobs friends, because in the end, God said this to them, “I am angry with you [Eliphaz] and your two friends because you have not spoken the truth about me.” Job 42:7. Do not speak in cliche’s because most of them although said to be biblical are NOT!

When i have gone through difficult times i have needed empathy first, encouragement second and advice last. Besides, advice, given without request only sounds degrading. You may not use the words but i guarantee it sounds like this, “YOU SHOULD HAVE…” Capped with, “YOU IDIOT!” There may come a time for those words but i assure you, it won’t be early on and it better be coming from my best friend. Being there for someone going through tragedy is hard but it can be a blessing as well, as you show empathy, and encouragement, you will gain wisdom, and i can promise you that!

You are Loved,

More than mere words…part one

“Everything is going to be ok.” Have you heard those words before, spoken to you by someone trying to comfort you? There are a lot of one-liners out there meant to encourage or comfort us…however, those are just words. Time and time again when i have been down or just need a boost, i have heard, “hang in there, things are going to get better.” Even though they are right, things eventually got better, those were not the words i needed to hear. What i needed at the time was someone to empathize with me.

Empathy is defined this way by Websters Dictionary, “the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” i needed someone to say, “you know what that does suck, and i can only imagine what you are going through. Life sure can be unfair.” Empathy is far more comforting than some of our most uplifting sayings. Matthew records Jesus’ sermon on the mount in Chapter 5, where Jesus says, “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Maybe this is where we get our over need to comfort those going through seemingly difficult times.

There are so many passages in scripture that bring comfort when one is ready to hear them…but there is a mourning period. Traditionally, looking at Scripture as our root, the mourning period lasted 7 days, with some exceptions of 30 days. For this period of mourning, there was crying, lamenting, tearing of clothes, folks did not groom themselves during the time of mourning either. Traditional readings stopped as well during this period, along with celebrations and work. True mourning was a shared experience of the grief-stricken, empathy. There is something very comforting knowing that one is not walking alone, crying alone, alone.

There is a time when mourning ends. The mourner then moves on the best they can in light of the tragedy they just came. It is at this point we offer the encouragement to continue on, move on, and press on, come into play. Certainly not before or during mourning. The most comforting thing you can do when someone is greaving is to be present, be available, cry with them, lament with them, don’t try to be the fixer, just be. When the period of mourning is over, then begin to encourage them. In Job when his friends first got on the scene they responded perfectly, “When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.” Job 2:12-13

The first part of getting through a difficult time is mourning. The best way to comfort a person in mourning is to empathize with them, more than mere words, live life with them in their shoes, their feelings, their sorrow. Earn the right to encourage them at the right time through your empathizing cries.

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a lifestyle not a religion

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