From an early age I have been involved in ministry. As a kid singing with my family in churches even doing concert tours. Later, I would attend youth camps. When I was eighteen, the owner of the campground where we lived asked me to be the Pastor of the “Little Chapel of the Canyon.” He even helped me figure out a way to receive an ordination so that I could legally officiate weddings. This so he could advertise this as an available option to the campground experience. I led services at the chapel every Sunday for a year. At the same time I also held a Bible study in my home on Wednesday nights. I did this until I moved to Washington state for a girl that I had met in Jr. High at a summer camp. A camp I attended while visiting my grandparents after earning money selling candy door to door. We wrote letters back and forth for years. However, after my arrival the spark we shared in Jr. High never returned.

All was not lost however. As I did begin volunteering at a Youth for Christ center in the town I lived. Later, I would be asked to lead the Jr High Ministry at the church I attended. I did this for a couple years before moving back to Southern California, the place I called home. After moving back I started attending a local church and again began volunteering with the Youth ministry. After a year the youth pastor moved on. They did not have a budget to hire a new youth pastor. So, they asked me to lead as a volunteer. To which I accepted. Newly married, and bi-vocational, it was a busy time. We would have our first son during this time as well. On top of family, work and ministry, I began attending classes towards becoming a Pastor.

Mostly online through a Denominational University, however, some courses were held at the District Center. While still attending classes I would be granted a District license. Later, upon completion of my studies I was ordained. I did eventually end up finishing two degrees, Biblical Studies (Theology) and Biblical History. After my first District license I would accept my first full time Youth Pastor position. At my first assignment my family would grow adding two more son’s to the clan. After my ordination I was approached about moving into a Lead Pastor position to which I accepted. I would bounce between, Youth, Lead, and Evangelism over the next 20 years. After which I would step down from ministry within the denominational structure.

My transition from full time ministry wasn’t all by my desire. However, several life events of my own making, caused a ripple effect that forced my hand. Some of those ripples I am still feeling and will be riding out for as long as I live. However, these events have brought something good. They have brought the closeness with Adonai that I have desired. I started first with putting down all devotionals, commentaries, and inspirational books. I began to read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. Oh I had done this before, several times actually, but with guides. This time I simply prayed, “Adonai, I want to know You for who You are and not what man has made You.”

The journey that I am on has been one of change and adaptation. As I learn new principles and new ways that Elohim desires worship, I adjust to Him. No longer do I take mans definitions, and mans traditions and tell the Father, “this is how I will honor You.” No, now I learn what pleases Him and I strive to make that a part of my life, of who I am day in and day out. I taught for so long man’s definitions, mans traditions, all centered around a Greek Jesus. Now I am learning about Elohim’s instruction, His desires, all centered around a Hebrew Messiah, Yahoshua.

During this time I studied in depth the works of Augustine, and Josephus. Along with many other historians. One thing rings true in these writings. The faith of the earliest Apostles has slipped from the Way left by Yahoshua. It has taken on a Greco-Roman philosophical leaning faith. A mixture of ideas from cultures not inspired by Elohim but men.

Ezekiel 22:26 is one of the eye opening verses that started my journey of awakening to the Fathers instruction. It was the first step after deciding to take the advice of the Apostle Paul. “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but so much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” It was my first walk through of Genesis to Revelation. When the Ezekiel passage leaped off the page and smacked me in the face. “Her priests have done violence to My Torah and have profaned My holy things. They have made no distinction between the Holy and the common, neither have they taught the difference between the unclean and the clean, and they have disregarded My Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them.”

I was one of those who stood in a leadership position and did violence to His Torah. I did not make any distinction between the Holy and the common, nor did I teach the difference between the unclean and the clean. I disregarded His Sabbaths, and profaned them even, by doing my pleasure on them. This was eye opening. It isn’t that I feel a need to earn my salvation. No, I am thankful for my Messiah Yahoshua who is the Way, the Truth and the Life. It is through Him that I receive forgiveness of sin and am washed clean. Through His righteousness I am made worthy. However, it is Yahoshua who says, “If you love me, obey My commandments.” He also said, “Why do you call Me Adonai, Adonai, and not do as I command?”

Dating back to late 2019, you can begin to read the shift. There are posts before that that I am still editing as my understanding of Elohim’s instructions are more clear. However, in a nutshell here is that journey. These are my highlights.

Psalm 51:6-13
– Purge me with hyssop
– Create in me a clean heart
– Do not cast me away
– Restore me
– Uphold me

Revelation 19:7
– make yourself ready

2 Corinthians 5:17
– IF anyone is in Messiah

2 Corinthians 13:5
– Examine yourself/test yourself

Galatians 6:4
– Examine your own works

1 John 2:3-6
“And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. Whoever says ‘I know Him,’ but does not keep His commandments is a liar. The truth is not in him. Now, the promise is true, whoever keeps His word [Torah], in him truly the love of Elohim is perfected. By this we may know that we are in Him. Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.”

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
– Fear Elohim
– Keep His commandments
– Every deed will be judged (Those in Messiah have the hope of forgiveness)

John 5:46-47
– If you believed Moses, you would believe Me
– The Torah points to Messiah
– Look at the road to Emmaus where Yahoshua explains through the Tanakh who He is
– To truly know Messiah we must know the whole of Elohim’s Word

Psalm 119:105-112
“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and light to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to keep your righteous rules. I am severely afflicted; give me life, Adonai, according to Your Word! Accept my freewill offerings of praise, Adonai, and teach me Your rules. I hold my life in my hand continually, but I do not forget Your Torah. The wicked have laid a snare for me, but I do not stray from your precepts. Your testimonies are my heritage forever, for they are the joy of my heart. I inclined my heart to perform Your statutes forever, to the end.”

This is the Way of the Rabbi, won’t you join me on this journey?

You are loved,
cj